Hope In Despair aka Hope gets some KFC
by Ashna
Summary: Takeru is falling into depression. Will anyone notice before he does something drastic?
1. Numbing

This is in high school and all the second season Digidestined are going to the same school. Except for Iori. Their all fourteen the older digidestined are about 17 last year of highschool. The plot line focuses mostly on Takeru and Ken with wee little parts by Daisuke every now and then. One Hikari bit too hey I needed the voice of wisdom and frankly only Hikari can fill that role. This story has Yaoi content can't handle it don't read it. Hard core Takari fans might not want to read this....Kensuke, Sorato(Sorry Taito fans but a friend made me!) and Taito.Warning! There's a few big surprises in here so be prepared! R&R please and thank you. Flames will be completely ignored and laughed at.

(Can you figure out what K.F.C. is?)

And there will be a prequel/sequel to the Taito bits. Because it was too much to go into in this one. Thank you Katherine for giving me the idea by forcing me into writing a Sorato! Heehee...you can never win! 

Disclaimer: We're on FAN FICTION. Net who needs disclaimers? Of course this stuff isn't ours!

Takeru yawned as he walked home with Hikari. It had been a long day and he was beat. He wasn't looking forward to going out tonight. It'd been her idea to go out for dinner but now Takeru wished she'd scheduled it for another day. Relaxing was good but he was tired.

The still petite brunette even at fourteen smiled at him as he squeezed her hand. She'd been really quiet lately and he wasn't quite sure why. 

"Hikari is anything bothering you?" he asked.

She smiled weakly and looked a little nervous. She'd been doing that a lot lately too. 

"No, nothing's bothering me. Wh- why'd you ask?" She said with a false tone.

"Oh no reason you've just been really quiet 's all." He answered her looking ahead and thinking.

Things had been like this for a while between them. Distant. In fact that's all the relationship had ever been for him. Oh sure he went through all the motions. Holding hands, the silly love bird talk but he'd never felt that strongly towards her. At least not like that.

He couldn't even remember why he'd agreed to go out with her in the first place. Probably the pressure from everyone else. They all assumed because of their crests they would fall in love. A special bond or some crap like that.

They were the digidestined of hope and light of course they had a bond. He understood Hikari and she understood him with some thing closer to instinct then conscious thought. But that's all a bond of similar situation and ideals but never love.

He hadn't minded being with Hikari though and neither had she. They'd just gone along with the opinions of the others. She was fun to be around and with her he didn't feel quite so lonely.

Yeah he got lonely, lonely in spirit. Takeru was more like his brother then some people realised. They both had the Ishida temper and they both had that tendency to brood. They'd gotten the former from their father and the latter from their mother. The only difference between them was that Yamato had always found some way of expressing himself. He'd play his music or go fight with Taichi. Takeru had never been able to release his feelings in any way. He'd cried a lot when he was younger and would some times get a little angry when his feeling became too strong but he'd grown out of all that quickly.

Then he'd met Hikari and she'd understood because she was much the same. They had a way of co-existing in the same frame of mind. Both could become depressed becoming something much different from their normally cheery selves. Neither had ever been able to pull each other out of it though. That was probably why they'd never fallen in love. 

Hikari suddenly stopped and Takeru paused dragging himself out of his own thoughts. He looked at her in confusion because she was so worked up over something he couldn't even read her.

"Takeru...." she started faltering then taking a deep breath she started again.

"Takeru I can't do this...us any longer."

He blinked and nodded not terribly upset, this was something he''d been expecting for a while. Hikari's bouts of depression came from her own relationship with the light. Light could not exist without darkness and she was constantly torn between the two. He'd always tried to help her but had his own problems to deal with.

"Takeru I've been thinking and I think we should see other people." She paused while Takeru didn't say anything just waited for her to finish.

"It's just that there's someone I like and I want, I want to be free to ask them out."

Takeru could tell this person meant a lot to Hikari. She'd been talking a lot lately about a someone she'd met in photography class. Takeru smiled as he now realized that they'd been more to her then just a new friend.

"It's Akira right?" He asked with a grin hopping to embrass her a little.

She blushed prettily the colour rising on her normally pale cheeks.

"Yes, and don't be a jerk like Daisuke about it either."

Takeru smiled and gave her a gentle hug around her shoulders. She hugged him back arms around his waist.

"Hikari I'm happy that you've found someone you care for. So your free, free as a bird, free as a butterfly, free as a Hawkmon, free as a Biyomon." He said grabbing her arms and flapping them around.

Hikari giggled and managed to pull her arms away from her best friend which was all they'd ever really been. She stopped laughing and gave Takeru a hopeful look with her soft brown eyes.

"Um I was thinking that maybe we could skip the dinner date. He kinda asked me to a movie tonight as a friend and I didn't exactly say no and..." 

The tall blonde laughed and gave her a little push towards Akira's place.

"Go I was trying to think of a way to go home and sleep anyway."

~~~~~~~~~~~ Several weeks pass/ at school.

Takeru came out the school gates and looked around for Ken. Both were in the same geology class, though Ken was the teachers assistant. Ken had agreed to help him study for a big test next week.

Takeru had been surprised at how close he and the digidestined of kindness had become over the years. He now honestly considered Ken his best friend next to Hikari. He figured it was something to do with the fact that both of them were fairly introspective. Ken would often come to him for advice and vice versa. Of course the friendship had taken a while to develop while Daisuke had slowly brought Ken out of his shell but that hardly mattered now.  
  
The raven haired boy was leaning against the wall with his book bag waiting. Takeru walked up to him and waved hello. Then stopped as Ken looked up and he saw his face.

"Whoa! Ken what happened to you? Did you get into a fight or something? You look like shit." Takeru said amazed at the amount of damage on his friends face.

He had a rather large black eye that was slowly swelling, his nose had been bleeding, one side of his face was turning a nasty shade of yellow green and his lip was split. Ken nodded and smiled looking happy.

"Well you should see the other guy. He's got two black eyes and I think I broke his nose." 

*He's been hanging around Daisuke too much. He's actually glad to have broken someone's nose.*

"Um and why'd you do that?" Takeru asked genuinely curious to find out what could have made Ken that mad.

"Some ass hole pushed me into a locker saying I was a sissy fag who should get beat up. Then he said he'd kick my faggy assed boyfriend after he was done with me. So I punched him. Then he punched me and well...." Ken said starting to look just a little sheepish.

Takeru laughed and smiled giving Ken a slap on the shoulder. Ken was normally very gentle but tended to get angry whenever someone insulted or threatened Daisuke.

'Hey that's a good thing then! Jerks like that shouldn't even be allowed to co-exist with real human beings."

Ken chucked and proceeded to tell just how much pain he'd inflicted on the bully before a teacher had split them up. Of course Ken was now suspended for a week but the other guy got a month because he'd started the fight on prejudice alone.

Takeru listened with just half his mind. The other was reflecting on the one relationship no one had seen coming. Everyone had been surprised when Daisuke had started dating Ken. One day he'd been bugging Hikari about liking her the next he admitted to being with Ken since their adventures in the digital world.

The two were sickeningly sweet around each other too. Always holding hands and whispering things into each others ears that made the other blush. But no one minded because the they were so obviously happy together. Daisuke could always manage to bring out Ken's personality and Ken could magically calm down Daisuke in any situation. 

He was terribly jealous of them and the happiness they'd found together. Takeru didn't think he would ever find someone to be that close to. He'd voiced these fears a few times to Ken and his brother Yamato but both told him he was an idiot and to have a little patience. 

He glanced at Ken who was now talking about the college courses he was taking on the weekends so that he wouldn't stagnate his brain in a normal high school. Takeru wondered what it was like to love someone enough to switch schools and expose yourself to constant ridicule. He considered Ken and Daisuke two of the bravest people he knew.

~~~~~~~~~~ At Takeru's place.

"Okay first off you have to find out which class the rock is. That can usually be done by what kind of rock it's made out of." Ken was explaining but Takeru wasn't really listening.

Lately he'd been feeling a little punkish. He would start thinking about his love life, his future and several other things that tended to depress him. It wasn't like he meant to do that it was just normally he would have talked to Hikari about that sort of thing but she was off with her new boyfriend most of the time now. Besides he never did like bugging her with his problems she always had so many of her own.

"Earth to Takeru, what's up with you lately that's the third time you've drifted off like that today." Ken said waving a pale hand in front of his friends face.

"Sorry Ken I've just been a little depressed lately that's all." Takeru said absent mindedly focusing his attention back on the work.

Ken nodded then frowned in concern.

"You want to talk about it?" he asked always knowing when something was bothering the cheerful blonde.

Takeru shook his head in a negative hoping Ken wouldn't push him. As much as he valued the friendship between them he didn't feel comfortable unloading on Ken. Just like Hikari, Ken still had his own issues to deal with and he didn't need his friend whining to him.

Ken tilted his head giving Takeru a good look then shrugged turning back to the Geology text book in his lap. Ken knew when not to push Takeru and figured this was one of those times.

~~~~~~~~~~Later that night

It was two O'clock in the morning and Takeru was still awake. He'd left his room where he'd just been staring at the ceiling to sit in the living room staring out the window at the rain.

This was the third time this week that he hadn't been able to sleep. He honestly didn't know why but he'd feel listless and zoned out during the day but couldn't relax enough to sleep at night.

He shivered and pulled a blanket tighter around his shoulders. Now that fall was settling in, nights were getting chilly. A noise made him look up and he saw his Mom in her house coat looking sleepy.

"What are you still doing up honey and why are you in the dark?" She asked walking forward and turning on a lamp.

"Couldn't sleep." he answered.

She moved forward and placed a kiss on his cheek. No matter how old her boys got she tended to baby them. Though Yamato wouldn't put up with it like Takeru did. She moved into the kitchen giving him a warm smile as she did.

"I'll just make you some steamed milk like I did for Yamato when he was younger. He would always get up late at night and couldn't get back to sleep. It should do the trick. Relaxes the mind or something like that."

Takeru smiled slightly as his Mom bustled around the kitchen. She really did care for both her sons even if neither of them really were very open anymore.

"Thanks Mom." He said as she handed him a cup several minutes later.

"I put some almond flavouring in it so it tastes better. I'm going back to bed so after you're finished you go straight to bed okay? You do have school in the morning."

She left and Takeru reached over to turn off the light again. He really didn't feel like being in the light right now. He continued to stare out at the rain, sipping the drink and thinking about things.

He didn't know why he was thinking about the things he was. The divorce and how it had split up his family making his Mother worry constantly about him but mostly about his Father and Yamato. The time when he'd lost Angemon and the times when he and the other Digidestined fought against things too dark and pointless to make sense of. It was just making him depressed. But he couldn't get his mind off them.

This happened a lot more then people realized. He was always thinking about those types of things just like his brother. 

* But I don't have anyone to talk to about it. He's got Sora now and before her he'd play his music.*

Takeru sighed and put the now empty mug down. He suddenly felt very tired though he doubted it had anything to do with the milk. He shivered again as he looked out the window on his way to bed. 

*The rain has turned everything grey and dark.*

He crawled into bed pulling up the covers and tried to get warm again. He managed to relax and drifted off to sleep.

~~~~~~~Few weeks later

It was the weekend and Takeru was walking home with Yamato, Sora and Daisuke. They'd all gone to see Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon in the theatre. Sora had wanted to see it for the romance and asked Yamato to take her. Yamato had phoned Takeru to ask if he'd please come along. Takeru had raised an eye brow at the desperate tone in his brothers voice after all he had been dating Sora for months now but had agreed. Daisuke had been over at Takeru's at the time and come after he found out there was fighting in the movie.

All through the movie Daisuke had fidgeted while Sora cuddled up to a unresponsive Yamato. Takeru hadn't even paid attention to the thing. His mind was a complete blank. He'd felt no bit numb and had only remembered the end. There was something fascinating to him about the girls jump off the bridge into the swirling mists surrounding the base of the mountain. His mind was stuck in a morbid replay of the scene as they walked.

He jumped out of his own thoughts as Yamato whacked him across the back of the head.

"Ow, jerk what did you do that for?" he grumbled giving his brother an annoyed look.

"As I was saying while you were off in la la land me and Sora have plans so we're going now. I'm still coming over for dinner next week the concert was cancelled so tell Mom it's a go, okay?" Yamato said pulling Takeru's hat down over his eyes playfully.

"Yeah whatever." he said not in the mood for brotherly banter.

They left Sora grabbing Yamato's hand as they went. Takeru left a pang of jealously at Yamato's good fortune. Yet another person around him who'd found happiness while he was still alone...

  
~~~~~~~~Need another point of view? Yeah me too

Daisuke frowned as Takeru seemed to drift off into his own world again. He'd been doing that a lot in the last few weeks and Daisuke was getting worried about his friend. Ken had mentioned to Daisuke that he should be keeping an eye on the blonde digidestined of hope. He'd asked Ken why not really under standing and Ken had just shrugged saying he had a feeling.

*Ken can be so annoying when he's being all.. Being all.....smart. He never thinks I'll understand. Okay so maybe sometimes....most of the time...I don't. But he doesn't have to be so...annoying!*  
  
"Hey Takeru I was going to meet up with Ken later do you wanna like phone up Hikari, Miyako and Iori and go for pizza or something?" he asked thinking Ken wouldn't mind turning the date into a friend get together."

No response.

"Hello Takeru is anybody home up there? Or has bleaching your hair finally gotten to your brain?" 

He gave Takeru a little shove getting the other boys attention.Takeru blinked then frowned as he heard what Daisuke said.

"I do not bleach my hair." he said not rising to the bait.

The two boys had never been particularity close before high school but had one thing in common. The people they cared for the most were the same. This had created a common ground for them to stand on. It was only now as they matured and became older had they become good friends. But they still got on each others nerves at times.

"Well do you wanna phone the others and go for pizza?" Daisuke asked getting impatient as his stomach growled in hunger.

"Okay, okay I know better then to get between you and your stomach. Your worse then a rookie digimon." Takeru said with a smile as he finally woke up a little.

"All right food! First I'll phone Ken before he leaves home and then..."

~~~~~~~~At pizza place

Ken laughed as Miyako and Daisuke fought over a piece of pizza. Everyone was there including a few extra's. Hikari had brought her boyfriend a small guy with large green eyes and bright red hair that Ken recognized from the year book committee. They were the perfect compliment for each other too. Ken had never seen Hikari act so happy before.

"MIYAKO THAT"S MY PIECE!" Daisuke yelled standing up to reached across the table and receiving several startled glances from the other customers.

Ken winced and reached out pulling Daisuke back down by the seat of his pants. Ken put a arm warningly across his lower back, his thumb through a belt loop to keep his disgruntled boyfriend sitting. 

"Daisuke would you please stop acting like your eleven again?" Ken pleaded. "You're going to get us kicked out."

Miyako giggled at Daisuke for getting in trouble.  
Ken turned his amethyst eyes on her and frowned.

"You're no help either Miyako. You just encourage him."

Daisuke rolled his eyes at Miyako and poked Ken in the side.  
  
"Yes Mommy. Geesh chill out for once Ken." Daisuke said while at the same time grabbing a slice of pizza and stuffing most of it in his mouth.

"Daisuke you are way too immature." Hikari said disapprovingly.

"Stop teasing Ken for acting his age and trying to get you to act in a decent manner. I don't know how he can stand being around you sometimes." Hikari finished with a grin.

Ken laughed along with everyone else as Daisuke blushed and sputtered out some remark that was supposed to be funny but fell far from its mark. Ken glanced over at Takeru who was sitting near the window beside Ken. He was just staring outside ignoring them all. He wasn't even staring at anything in particular just the pavement. 

*That's odd normally he takes every chance he can get to bug Daisuke. I wonder what could be wrong?*

He was going to ask him but was distracted by Iori who now much taller but every bit as serious asked him were he got his black eye from. Daisuke grinned because he loved hearing this story while Ken was getting pretty tired of telling it.

He'd completely forgotten about Takeru's odd behaviour by the time he was finished telling the tale and then they all had to go home so he never did ask his friend what was wrong.

~~~~~~~~~Next day after school

Ken waited once more outside the school gates for Takeru. His grades had been slipping and his teachers knowing that they were friends asked Ken to tutor the blonde. Ken had agreed having nothing much to do lately. Though Daisuke said making out with him for hours on end was doing something.

*Of course Daisuke would do anything to avoid homework too.*

Takeru came around the bend and Ken fell into step beside him. He didn't look to be in the mood for talking so Ken remained silent. They reached Takeru's house in record time having not slowed down to chat comfortably. Takeru silently opened the door. Silently put away their jackets. Silently went to his room. Silently got out his books.

*He's going to drive me insane. I must have gotten used to Daisuke's constant chattering because this silence is weird.*

Ken frowned as he began to explain a passage of the text Takeru hadn't under stood in class.

*This isn't like Takeru at all. Why has he been so quiet and withdrawn lately? You'd think he was me on a bad day but this seems different some how. It's not like he's thinking about anything at all.*

Ken tried for several hours to put some of the information from school into his friends brain but Takeru kept drifting off. He'd started talking but it was only to answer questions. He didn't even apologize for zoning out. 

Finally Ken slammed a book shut loudly as he asked the same question for the fifth time with no response. Takeru jumped and turned dull tired eyes towards Ken.  
  
*He looks exhausted why haven't any of us noticed this happening?*

"Okay what's wrong Takeru. You've been completely out for it for weeks now. What is wrong with you?" Ken asked with a frown of concern on his face.

~~~~~~~~~~Back to T.O. Opps T.A.? T.B.? T.L.C?

Takeru jumped as Ken slammed the book and asked him what wrong. He didn't answer because he didn't really know. All he knew was that he didn't care about anything anymore and confusion at why everyone was so concerned. Yamato had even phoned him last weekend after he'd gotten home to make sure he was okay.

"Well Takeru? At least answer me." Ken said again a concerned look upon his face.

He blinked trying to clear his mind and shook his head. Ken sat there expectantly waiting for an answer.

"Nothing's wrong Ken. Sorry if I've been out of it lately I didn't mean to worry you." He answered pulling a cheerful demeanour over his features not wanting Ken to pry.

To be honest Takeru felt nothing at all. He'd felt faintly numb for weeks. Things just didn't seem as important anymore. He was trying to pay attention in school but this numb feeling combined with lack of sleep was making it difficult.

The last few days had been the worst. He'd woken up suddenly feeling incredibly frightened. He hadn't been able to move and it had been difficult to breath. It wasn't like there was anything to be frightened of and the feeling passed but he could never get back to sleep. His nerves would be completely shot so he'd get up and stare out the window until he had to get ready for school.  
  
But Ken didn't need to hear all this. Hikari might have listened before but she was pretty much gone in her own world of happiness and light. Ken had his own problems to deal with just like her. He'd never truly recovered from his time as the Digimon Kaiser and the shock of what he'd done. Even now he really only opened up to Daisuke and to a extent then his lover, Takeru.

So Takeru put on a false smile deciding he'd have to act cheerful and happy around the other to keep them from worrying. He shivered a little as he did so feeling as if he was stepping into a cold grey fog.  
  
Ken frowned again and leaned forward reaching out with one hand like he was about to say something when Takeru's Mom called from beyond the door.

"Ken your mother just phoned. She'd like you to go home now before it gets too dark."

Ken stood up grabbing his stuff. He glanced back at Takeru and paused at the door hovering.

"Takeru if you ever want to talk you have my number. Okay?" Ken said then left leaving Takeru alone in his room.

He got up and looked out the window to watch Ken leave. It had started raining again and the world was completely monochromatic. Not a hint of the setting sun showed through the grey slate clouds. Not a single green leaf was still upon the trees. Only blackish barren shapes raised their thin branches to the sky. Even Ken's figure as it stopped to wave from the side walk was a slight shape of dark clothes and pale skin.

~~~~~~~~~Ken on his way home

Ken shivered as he looked up at Takeru's face in the window. The world outside was as cold and barren as Takeru's eyes had been when he'd looked at Ken with a false smile. Something as definitely wrong.

There had been something familiar about the flat emotionless look behind Takeru's blue eyes. In truth today they had looked more like grey then their normal bright cheery blue.

*Of course how could I be so stupid! It was just like the land around the ocean of darkness. Grey and void of the life it once had. Will that place ever leave us alone?*

Ken thought bitterly as he hurried to catch the bus home. Once there he dialled up Daisuke immediately needing a little more help to help Takeru.

~~~~~~~~~Park next day  
  
Hikari shivered it was a cold day out and she wished she was inside. Why had Daisuke called her out here anyway. He was fifteen minutes late now too.

She was about to go home when Daisuke came jogging around the corner. He was out of breath and panting for air.

"Hi Daisuke so what is it you wanted to talk to me about?" She asked just a little impatient.

"How much do you know about Takeru? Like I know you dated and all but did you really get to know him and stuff?" Daisuke asked ditzy even when serious.

Hikari blinked and thought for a second wanting to give a good answer. For once in his life Daisuke seemed very focused.

"I guess I know him very well Daisuke. Okay here's the thing we have a special bond like the old kindred souls thing." She paused trying to explain. 

"I can't really explain but I know him very well. Very well. Why are you asking is something wrong with Takeru?"

Daisuke opened his mouth and shrugged. He sat down on a bench despite the water covering it and looked confused.

"I don't know but Ken thinks there might be."

Hikari nodded and sat down beside him. This bit of news bothered her more then Daisuke being worried.

"If there was Ken might be able to tell. He's a lot like me and Takeru. Here let me explain because I don't think Ken's ever been able to figure this one out. Ironic considering how smart he is but anyway."

She paused again trying to think of a way to explain it to Daisuke who sat looking at her expectantly.

*Yeah Hikari time to explain phycological problems to Daisuke. Good luck.*

"You know how our crests represent the best thing about us right?"

Daisuke nodded.

"Well that trait can also be what's the worst about us or maybe I should say the opposite is our worst. No that's not right. Okay let's take Ken for example his crest is that of kindness right,"

Another nod.

" But if that trait is ruined, lost or corrupted the complete opposite becomes our strongest trait. So for Ken when he lost his kindness he became absolutely cruel."

Daisuke frowned never having thought about why Ken had become the digimon Kaiser just that he was different now.

"The same goes for anyone. If you lost your courage you'd become a coward. Most likely an extreme coward. Not very likely but possible."

"So because your light if you lost that you'd be...darkness?" Daisuke said looking now very worried.

"Yes it's almost happened a few times too. Now for Takeru his crest is hope. He'd never had any trouble with keeping his hope before when we were younger but when he hit his teens he began having doubts and brooding a lot."

Daisuke nodded.

"Yeah I'd noticed he became more serious after our time in the digitalworld."

Hikari nodded then she frowned.

"Why did Ken think something was wrong with Takeru again?"

"He said Takeru was drifting off a lot and he'd seen something strange in Takeru's eyes. He said it reminded him of the land around the ocean of darkness?" Daisuke said not having understood that part of the conversation.

Hikari frowned now more worried then before. This sounded bad really bad. Now when Takeru truly needed her she'd gone and distanced herself from him. Now she didn't think she could get close enough to him for her to help. She'd fallen in love and her heart belonged to them now. She couldn't open her heart to him anymore. She hadn't been able to before anyhow.

"Hikari what would be the opposite of hope?" Daisuke asked as he brooded over Takeru's behaviour becoming very worried for his friend.

"Despair." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ next day at school

Ken was walking to the cafeteria to join the other at lunch. He really liked being at this school. Sure the classes were a little slow for him most of the time but he really didn't care too much about that. He had friends and Daisuke so he was happy.

He stopped as he saw Takeru walking outside. Which was ridiculous because he wasn't wearing a jacket and it was pouring rain outside. Ken followed wondering what he was up to still worried about the night before.

Outside was a basket ball court and beyond that a few potables and beyond them was a small grove of trees. That's were Takeru was headed. Ken sighed over the fact that he was going to be soaked by the time he caught up with Takeru and ran after him. 

He made it to the trees and was happy to see the branches prevented most of the rain from entering the grove. He saw the navy blue of the school's uniform moving deeper into the near twilight gloom beneath the trees. 

Ken followed until he found Takeru standing in a small break in the tree's canopy. He was looking up through the gap letting the rain fall on his face. Ken paused uncertain whether he should step forward. There was a certain amount of symmetry between Takeru's current pose and what Ken had seen in his eyes.

Takeru was standing perfectly still as if he was a living statue. The half darkness beneath the sentinel like trees seemed to be creeping closer towards the boy as if waiting for the pale light from the sky to fade and leave him standing in shadow. The blue of his uniform as dark enough to look black and the steady rain bled the life out of any other colours. 

But it was the expression on Takeru's face that made it difficult for Ken to swallow. It was if he was a prisoner on death row who was starting to forget what freedom was. There was an emptiness in Takeru's grey eyes. Yes even his bright blue eyes looked drained of colour beneath the rain.

Ken had never seen anyone look so lost before but he knew what it was. Of course he knew. After Wormmon had sacrificed himself to save Ken's kindness he'd been lost, unsure of how to find his way back to the person he knew was some where inside himself. It had taken a while and Daisuke had helped a lot but he'd managed.

*But with Takeru it's different. He's not lost trying to find himself like I was. I think he's become lost and he can't find his way back. I don't think he knows how.*

Ken stepped forward and laid a hand on Takeru's shoulder. Takeru blinked and looked down from his steady gaze at the concrete sky. He smiled at Ken but it was an empty one with no real feeling behind it.

"Hey Ken what are you doing out here?" He asked in a normal tone.

"I saw you walk out here and wondered why you were walking outside into the pouring rain with out a jacket." He said unsure of how to approach the subject of how Takeru was feeling.

Takeru's smile faded for about ten seconds and Ken thought he saw a flicker of the nothingness that was behind his eyes. Ken's gut lurched as he remembered the feeling of horror that surrounded that ocean from so long ago.

*It feels as if Takeru's standing on the edge of that ocean.*

Then Takeru smiled again and laughed shaking his head.

"Dumb of me I guess. But now you're soaked to the bone following me out here and I know Daisuke will kill me if you get sick. So let's go inside." He said beginning to walk away.

Ken stood there for a moment and felt sick to his stomach as the shadows swallowed up Takeru's retreating figure. He looked up at the opening to frown at the featureless mass of clouds.

A sigh escaped from his lips as he turned back towards the retreating form of his best friend. To be honest Ken had first opened up to Takeru because he'd been attracted to the friendly blonde digidestined of Hope. Of course he'd quickly learned about the hopes held by just about all the digidestined of Hikari and Takeru getting together. So he'd turned away from that part of himself and found himself facing the energetic Daisuke. 

He'd just about forgotten his attraction towards Takeru in the happiness he'd found in Daisuke's arms but it had never gone away. He'd grown closer to the child of hope as a friend and comrade. Never letting his feelings go beyond that original mild interest and their comfortable friendship. And to his knowledge that's as far as thoughs feelings had ever gotten nor did he plan for any further development.

He flicked a strand of ebony hair out of his eyes and followed after Takeru his thoughts circling. He didn't question his feelings nor did he notice how far they reached into is heart. All he cared about was finding a way to bring back the blue of Takeru's eyes.

~~~~~~~~~ After school (it's the weekend)

Daisuke walked home hand in hand with Ken. He couldn't believe how much Ken had changed since they'd first met the raven haired genius. He'd been the cruel digimon Kaiser then the depressed guilt ridden ally. Neither had much inclination to think about others. Now with time and Daisuke's help he'd become much more confident.   
  
Ken looked like he was having another brooding relapse. But of course with Daisuke around these never lasted long. He leaned over dropping Ken's hand to wrap his arm around his waist and kissed his cheek gently.

"Wake up Ken. No thinking unhappy thoughts around me remember?" Daisuke said pulling the other boy as close as he could and still be able to walk.

Ken smiled at him and Daisuke was glad to see no lingering shadows within his deep violet eyes. So often in the past Daisuke had felt as if he was losing the one person he'd come to care for above all others to that dark place he never talked about.

Some of his concern must have shown on his face because Ken laughing gave Daisuke a playful kiss on the mouth. 

"Don't worry Dai-koi I was just thinking about Takeru and what Hikari told you. Oh thank you for talking with her for me I was too busy to call." 

"No problem. Have you figured anything out yet?" Daisuke asked 

Ken shook his head. Daisuke frowned and tried to think of something to make his lover feel better. He knew how close Ken was to Takeru. He even knew about Ken's former feeling for him and didn't want Ken to fret himself to pieces trying to help Takeru.

"Maybe there isn't a reason." Daisuke said hesitantly.

Ken gave him a look as if he'd said something that just might make sense. Daisuke shrugged and tried to make his own thoughts form into coherent thought.

"Maybe he doesn't have anything that would normally make him upset but he just is." Daisuke paused as Ken thought.

"You just might be right Daisuke. It's quite possible that Takeru has depression." Ken said looking much happier having come up with an answer.

Daisuke on the other hand was now confused his moment of brilliance fading as quickly as the setting suns rays.

"Um, but I thought we all ready knew Takeru was depressed." He said trying not to sound dumb but knowing he was anyway.

Ken smiled shaking his head.

"Not in the way your thinking. Or what you were thinking was correct."

"Uh, what?"

"Clinical depression is when someone is depressed and they might not even know why. It's a chemical imbalance within the body."

"Like when Jun gets really bitchy around that time every month?"

"Uh not quite the same Daisuke but I guess it's similar. Both have something to do with chemicals but with depression the effects are much more pronounced."

"And Jun acting like a she bitch from hell isn't effective."

"Dai-koi you know I love you but could you please stop comparing depression to a girls period? Even for you that's a stupid comparison."

"Sorry but she really does get bitchy....speaking of which I don't think we should go over to my house. I just remembered how Jun was acting this morning."

"Daisuke that is just too much implied information."

"Sorry. At lest you don't live with it."

Ken sighed and Daisuke finally decided to shut up. He steered Ken away from his place and towards his favourite place to eat. His long haired lover always had enough money on him to buy lunch and dinner should he not come home till late and Daisuke had no qualms over exploiting this fact.

He had promptly forgotten about Takeru's problems now that a solution or at lest a name for the situation was found. Now he just wanted to eat and Ken had cheered up enough to forget his own worries to laugh as Daisuke drained his wallet and stuffed himself. 

~~~~~~~~~~Takeru's Place the weekend

Takeru sighed as his Mother dashed out of the house. She'd gotten an emergency phone call from work and was needed emediatly. At first she'd told them no because it was time for Yamato's biweekly visit for dinner but had been threatened with the risk of being fired so she'd gone.

He stirred the food that was cooking on the stove. It didn't matter to him if his mother left. In fact nothing had really mattered to him. It had been a while since he'd felt much of anything. 

Of course there were still the panic attacks. They'd stopped happening solely at night. Now he'd feel them at any given moment. At school the other day when he'd gone out side it had been because of a attack. The rain had brought back the numbness that settled down through his soul.

He hated the panic attacks. Hated how they made it difficult to breath and how tears would form in his eyes. He hated the heavy feeling on his limbs while all he wanted to do was run or break something.

A pot started boiling over as Takeru had stopped stirring lost in his own thoughts. He ignored the pot and simply turned off the all the burners on the oven. 

As much as he hated the panic attacks he hated the numbness more. But each time the panic came he wished for the grey suspended feeling of being numb. It was just while he was numb it felt as if he wasn't stopping there. A hole of black despair had opened beneath him and was pulling him down. It hurt to go near that darkness and Takeru shrunk from it. 

Takeru stood there staring at the pots trying to find his way from the black hells that stood before him but found he couldn't. The walls he'd put around him to stop others from seeing his misery had trapped himself inside. He could no more escape his down ward slide then fly.

He shivered though the heat was on. He was never warm lately though it didn't bother him. He was so close to the darkness he didn't know how to make it go away now. To either side and below was all darkness with a fading pale light from above.

"I don't want this..." He whispered as he moved towards a drawer in the kitchen.

He'd looked closer today at the blackness and had found himself trapped. Trapped inside of it the pale menger light almost lost.

He grabbed a double edged knife and stood there staring at it for several minutes. Then he knelt down on the kitchen floor propping the knife between his thighs. He quickly cut both wrists simonaniusly. The knife dropped to the floor as Takeru's legs jerked in response to the pain.

He hadn't expected it to hurt so much. The blood formed a pool of red that stained the white linoleum beneath him. A wave of dizziness swept over him and he bend over arms cradled in his lap. 

It didn't hurt anymore, in fact the numbness had returned and was spreading. It started in his arms and was slowly moving along his body. Another wave of dizziness swept over Takeru and he slowly slumped to one side to lie on the floor. His vision was starting to go fuzzy and he couldn't have moved if he'd wanted to.

The door banged and foot steps sounded in the hall.Takeru recognised Yamato's voice as he called   
out a greeting. Another voice called out and Takeru thought it might be Taichi. Yamato had said something about Taichi coming over too.

Takeru closed his eyes as he suddenly felt very tired. His brother called out again and foot steps walked down the front hallway towards the kitchen.

"Oh shit......." Taichi's voice said and another set of footsteps came down the hall.

A strangled gasp and suddenly Takeru could feel himself being half picked up. Someone was wrapping what felt like towels around his wrists as the person holding him trembled.

"Yama, I need to phone an ambulance hold these down to stop the bleeding." Taichi's voice said taking on the ring of command and confidence from his old days as the leader of the digidestined.

*Yama? Since when did Taichi use such a familiar nickname?*

Takeru thought vaguely as the pressure on his wrists released for a second only to be replaced by the person holding him.

He was leaning against their chest their arms providing support. Takeru felt something wet hit his cheek and realized they were crying.

*Yamato, it's Yamato who's crying.*

His brother hadn't cried since they were both little. He could hear Yamato saying something quietly as he held him and he tried to listen though it was becoming hard to concentrate.

"Don't you dare die on me little bro, don't you dare."

Another wave of dizziness passed over Takeru and he opened his eyes to make sure the world wasn't turning like he thought it was. Yamato was crying and it made Takeru wonder why. 

"Takeru?" Yamato said as his brother opened his eyes. "Takeru don't close your eyes, try and stay awake."

Takeru wasn't really listening. His vision was going grey around the edges and it was hard to focus on Yamato's face.

"Takeru why did you do this?" Yamato asked holding him tighter starting to look desperate as Takeru didn't focus on him.

Taichi returned from phoning the ambulance and  
wrapped his arms around Yamato's shoulders taking up one of Takeru's wrists to help stop the bleeding. Takeru noticed the towels around his wrists were bright red with blood. So was the front of Yamato's shirt.

He closed his eyes as yet another wave of dizziness swept over him almost sending him into unconsciousness. He could still hear Yamato's voice as he panicked.

"Takeru? Takeru! Wake up come on, wake up." 

Taichi made some soothing sounds and Takeru could feel Yamato shaking with emotion.

"Why did he do this? I know he seemed a bit depressed a few weeks ago but this?" Yamato said between sobs.

"I don't know lover. I don't know...." Taichi answered.

Soon the paramedics showed up but by that time Takeru had slipped silently into darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Owari~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So should I write the rest? And before you ask yes I do like torturing people it's a fun past time. Heh heh heh......evil is so fun. Ahem anyway this fic is really far from done of course but it's taken me what feels like forever to get to this point. Though by the time you people are reading it that means I've probably all ready finished I'm just taking my time posting the rest. How long should I wait..a week?...two weeks?....maybe a month? Crackles evilly. R&R people! Ja ne. 


	2. Empty Inside

  
Thank you all for reviewing the first part!!!People like my stuff! Snif *is so happy!*It took me a week to figure out what to put in the second chapter. Now there will be three! I wouldn't be surprised if I added a fourth. Sigh so complicated. Sorry for the wait but this chapter was really hard to write. I'm just beginning as a writer it's hard!!!! Trying to write Daisuke as less then completely clueless but still ditzy took some doing! Now for you Takeru fans I'm sorry but this chapter focuses mostly on Daiken/Kensuke. There's not much you can do with him right now. What can I say but that he remains almost completely static for the chapter.  
Wondering what happened to Sora and Yamato as a couple? How did Taichi get into all of this? That will not be explained here! Haha that will be for another time another fic. I'd love to dedicate this fic to two of my friends. Leth that's her saiyan slash name and Miyama who love angst, lemon and Yaoi just as much as me! You guys are great keep the pervertions coming! And Leth you know your a good writer so stop dissing your stuff! Anyhoo R&R and enjoy!

  
~~~~~~~~~~~Part 2, Recovery~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Yama-koi it's going to be all right. He's gonna be fine." Taichi was saying rubbing Yamato's back as he retched uncontrollably.

They'd gotten to the ER in record time and had been told to clean up and wait. Yamato had been so worried about his brother  
he hadn't noticed the blood that was on him and Taichi.

They'd gone to the bathroom to while they waited for his parents to show up but Yamato had broken down again at the sight  
of so much of his own brothers blood. He kept on seeing the images of Takeru sprawled across the kitchen floor lying in a  
growing puddle of red. It had been everywhere. In Takeru's blonde hair, soaked into his clothes, across the floor. 

Now he was holding on to the ceramic bowel as the contents of his stomach emptied themselves. Taichi was still holding him  
making soothing sounds and brushing his hair away from his face. He'd never known the guy had such a gentle side but then  
Taichi always managed to surprise him.

He managed to stop after about ten minutes and sit up properly his stomach now too empty to bring up anymore. Taichi  
slowly helped him up and lead him back to the waiting room. He sat him down on a chair and sat next to him one arm around  
Yamato's waist the other holding one of his shaking hands.

"Arigato Taichi for coming." Yamato said quietly.

Taichi gave Yamato's hand a squeeze and shook his head with a weak smile.

"You need me there's no reason to thank me. Any of the others would have to." he replied.

"Why did he do this Tai? He seemed to be fine, perfectly happy." Yamato whispered tears once again forming at the corners of  
his eyes.

He didn't reply but merely held Yamato to him as he began to cry soundlessly. The blonde buried his face into Taichi's jacket  
letting himself cry. Taichi rubbed his back and rocked him back and forth trying to sooth him.

Taichi pushed him back suddenly and Yamato looked up with blurry eyes to see his Mother running franticly over to where the  
two boys sat. She looked absolutely stricken and gasped as she saw the blood on her sons shirt.

"Oh my God. Yamato what happened? Where's Takeru is he okay? No one told me what happened just that he had to be taken  
to the hospital." She said quickly tears forming in her eyes.

Yamato couldn't speak at first fresh tears running down his face. He swallowed and managed to choke out an explanation.

"He was..when I got there he was.. In the kitchen and..oh Mom he tried to..he slit his wrists." He bowed his head his body  
shaking as he tried not to sob hystericly.

Arms wrapped around him as his Mom sat down beside him. She was crying too with great gasping breaths. He hugged her  
back trying to give her support knowing how much she had always feared losing Takeru.  
"Takeru, my poor little Takeru. My baby..." She whispered raggedly clutching her eldest son to her as if he too would try and  
leave her.

Taichi looked up as Mr. Ishida came into the room tears all ready streaking his face. He paused as his   
ex-wife and son cried together. He sat down beside her and placed a hand on her shacking shoulders. She looked up with blotchy  
cheeks at her former husband.

"Dad...." Yamato chocked out from a throat closed with tears.

"It'll be all right. Takeru is going to be just fine you'll see." He said thickly tears rimming his tired blood shot eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~Oh about a week later.

Takeru woke up quickly but didn't move. He'd been let out of the hospital the next day with orders to rest and instructions to  
his family not to be left alone. His Mom had stayed home from work as long as she could but had to start working again. Being  
a reporter she held unusual hours and had asked Yamato if he'd mind watching his brother when she had to leave. His  
response? He'd moved in temporarily.

A sleepy sigh sounded from the make shift bed Yamato had constructed in Takeru's bed room on the floor. Takeru stared at  
the ceiling still not moving as Yamato yawned punching the off button on the alarm clock. He glanced over and noticed Takeru  
was awake.

"Hey little bro time to get up. Your going back to school today remember?" He said with false cheer.

No answer. Takeru didn't feel much like talking lately and only would if absolutely necessary. Ever since he'd woken up in the  
hospital finding himself to be alive he felt cold. Sure he'd felt cold before but this was different. It was more like a wall around  
him. The darkness was still there of course but it was just a part of life now. The cold was the problem, the cold  
was...something. Takeru could no longer place a label on his own feelings. He was adrift on an ocean of darkness and he  
floated on a ice flow.

He blinked as a hot hand grabbed his upper arm and dragged him out of bed. Yamato had to do this every morning now. Takeru  
didn't see much point in getting out of bed anymore.

"Up we get, come on. You have to get back into school. A week is too much to miss and your teachers said term finals are  
coming and it'll be to hard to catch up so get up." Yamato said more to himself then Takeru.

He'd been as protective and as concerned for Takeru as he had back in the digiworld when Takeru had only been eight. The  
younger boy would often catch his cool collected brother trying to hide tears when ever he'd refused to eat or get up like now.

Finally he moved tired of having his arm pulled. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up walking to his closet  
for his uniform.  
Yamato sighed and left the room to help with breakfast.

Takeru changed into his uniform taking care not to pull the material against his wrists. They were sore beneath the thick  
bandages and the doctor said they would take some time to heal. He finished changing and walked out to see Sora all ready there  
and his Mother rushing to leave for work.

"Bye bye Honey take care all right? I love you." She said giving Takeru a tear filled hug then left.

"Hey Takeru how are you?" Sora asked looking a bit nervous about asking.

He ignored her and sat down at the table to eat his breakfast. She looked hurt but Yamato placed a hand on her arm and  
shook his head.

"Don't mind it Sora he doesn't speak to anyone anymore. Not really." he said sadly.

The door bell rang several times and someone knocked on the door loudly. Yamato smiled slightly as Sora jumped.

"That would be Daisuke and Ken. Their walking Takeru to school." He said.

"Hey Yamato! We're here to pick up Takeru." Daisuke's cheerful voice sounded as Yamato opened the door.

Takeru finished his breakfast and grabbed his bag. He slung it over his shoulder and walked out the door past his brother and  
the two other boys. 

"Hey Takeru wait up buddy." Daisuke said hurrying to catch up.

Ken bowed a farewell to Yamato and caught up as well. Takeru didn't talk to the other two just like he hadn't talked to his  
parents or Yamato or Sora. Just kept on walking adrift on his ocean.

~~~~~~~~~~~Daisuke

*Geez this is like being between to storms. One blonde the other dark. Hey that sounded kinda poetic...Ken must be rubbing  
off on me.*

Daisuke sighed. Neither Takeru or Ken had talked since leaving the apartment. Ken wasn't talking because of how worried he  
was. The auburn haired goggle boy had had his hand full trying to calm down his boyfriend when ken had been told of what  
Takeru tried to do. Only once before had Daisuke seen ken so upset and that had been when Wormon had sacrificed himself.

His Mom had phoned Daisuke to come and calm him down she never having dealt with a Ken quite so depressed before. He'd  
rushed over of course and held Ken virtually all night while he cried.

*It was kinda freaky.*

To be honest Daisuke had been a little scared by Ken's behaviour. Not because he was upset but because of how upset he was.  
Daisuke had known that Ken had had a crush on Takeru when they first met but he'd fallen in love with him.

He looked at Ken who was walking beside him both behind Takeru. His amethyst eyes were down cast and cloudy which was how  
they looked when he was brooding about something. 

*Wonder what he's thinking about.*

Daisuke sighed and looked the back of Takeru's head. He was completely unsociable and even Daisuke forgot his jealousy for a  
moment as he worried for his digidestined friend.

*Didn't Hikari say that the opposite of hope is despair? Looks like Takeru followed her prediction.*

A hand took his and Daisuke squeezed it gently in comfort his only concern now to protect his friend from himself. Ken  
squeezed back as Daisuke turned his head to look at the raven haired boy beside him. Ken gave him a half smile and they continued onward to school.

~~~~~~~~~~~Takeru at school.

The blonde teenager sat through all his classes that day uncaring and talking to no one. At lunch he sat with the others as  
was normal but didn't say a word. Miyako and Hikari with her boyfriend didn't know what to say though Hikari kept giving him  
worried glances. The bond between them seemed to have weakened enough that Takeru didn't even register it's exsistance.  
Nothing of light could reach where he was. It's was too far and dark for Hikari to help him. 

His other friends from his classes tried talking to him but he didn't respond staring ahead or at his books. Eventually they  
gave up casting strange looks in his direction. They didn't know what he'd done nor were they to find out. They just thought  
he'd been sick for the last week.

Classes ended and Ken was outside his room without Daisuke. The hyper active goggle boy had soccer practice so Ken was to  
walk him home alone. Without a word Takeru repeated the scene from before. Walking past Ken and starting on his way neither stopping or waiting.

~~~~~~~~~~Kenny baby

Takeru walked beside Ken the entire way home without pause. Or that is Ken walked beside Takeru. The blonde didn't seem to  
care if anyone was around he just walked home. Ken couldn't find anything to say though he completely understood what his  
friend was going through. He too had been lost within the darkness though his reaction had not been passive to say the least.  
Ken hadn't been helped with his journey back but had been helped by Daisuke and the other digidestined to stay.

*It was Wormon who brought me out who showed me the way to my heart again but what can we, I do for Takeru?*

The grey eyes that had replaced the sunny blue of Takeru's former self had gone completely dull. Before it had been a slow  
drain of life but Takeru had still been whole. Now Ken feared he was gone, damaged beyond repair.

Another problem weighed heavily on Ken's heart. When he'd gotten the phone call from Taichi about Takeru he'd almost felt  
his heart break in two. He'd been too upset at the time to question what he'd felt but now he did. He'd gone and fallen in love  
with Takeru. He felt horrible, he was in love with Daisuke and had been for years. Ken honestly couldn't picture his life without  
his cheerful goggle head in it. 

* But now...now I love Takeru too. Way to go Ken. Just can't make anything simple for yourself can you?*

Ken started as he realised they'd reached Takeru's apartment building. Yamato was all ready outside waiting for them Sora  
beside him holding his arm. The cool blonde who normally looked completely put together was dishevelled and tired. He smiled  
weakly and waved.

*Yamato's really taking this hard.*

"Hey little bro. Thanks Ken for lookin' after him and all. I have to head home for a bit to pack up some things so we're heading  
out that way." Yamato said.

Ken smiled and bowed taking his leave as the three others moved towards Yamato's car where it was parked near the curb. He  
caught the bus home and tried not to cry in public as he thought of his betrayal to his Dai-koi and his fear of losing someone  
he loved.

  
~~~~~~~~~Daisuke

"Then you take the X value and place it...."

Daisuke was sprawled across his bed beside Ken who was sitting next to the bed the text book in his lap. He hadn't been listening at all to Ken's tutorings at all. He'd simply been admiring the way Ken's hair fell across his face when he read a page and the curve of his neck as it was exposed.

*I have one hot boyfriend.*

He grinned to himself and sat up moving closer to the edge behind Ken. He wrapped his arms around Ken's neck trailing his hands down the ebony haired digidestineds chest. Daisuke kissed the side of Ken's neck hoping to distract him from the lesson.

"Daisuke please pay attention." Ken sighed not rising to the bait.

"Aw, Ken come on it's not like I'm gonna remember this stuff anyway." he complained.

"You never will if you don't try Daisuke." Ken replied flatly without his usual amusement.

Normally Ken would at this point tease the brunette about his lack of concern over his education. Daisuke sighed as he realised Ken was in another of his down and out moods. He wouldn't smile, wouldn't joke around and most important in Daisuke's mind, wouldn't make out. He leaned over resting his weight on Ken's shoulders and hugged him close a stern frown on his face. 

"Oh no you don't....no being Mr. Lonely around me remember?" he said cheerfully.

"How can I forget you keep reminding me." Ken said closing the text book.

The goggle head boy frowned and hugged Ken tighter sensing something truly was wrong with his guy. 

"Come on Ken somethings bothering you so tell me what it is."

The uniform clad shoulders he hugged just shrugged away the question. Daisuke poked him in the side.

"Not getting away that easily, time to spill." 

"Daisuke I don't feel like talking about it okay." he sighed.

"Ah ha! So something is bothering you."

"Brilliant deduction Sherlock."

"Please tell me Ken..pleeeaaaase? With sugar on top?" Daisuke whined in a childish voice.

Ken's lips twitched as he tried not to smile. Daisuke grinned and hugged Ken around his neck tight.

"Pleease please pleeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

He grinned even more as Ken started chuckling. He turned around removing Daisuke's arms from around his neck. He smiled at Daisuke and gave him a light kiss on the lips.

"You're weird and no." He said as he pulled away.

The keeper of courage and friendship flopped over backwards onto the bed and flung his arms over his head sighing loudly.

"And people say I'M impossible." He grumbled as Ken stood up stretching. 

Ken looked back at Daisuke still smiling and shook his head. He sat down on the bed leaning forward on his knees.

"Don't take it personally. I just don't want to say anything yet okay Daisuke?" He said his voice now sounding a little strained.

Daisuke sat up again and looked at Ken a very serious expression on his face making the other boy glance at him.

"Ken that is the stupidest thing I've heard you say in a long time." Daisuke began moving closer to Ken and wrapping his arms about his waist.

"Of course I'm going to take this personally. I'm your boyfriend, I love you and I'm concerned. I don't like it when you drift off into your own world and don't talk to me."

"I don't know...." he said hesitantly leaning back into Daisuke's embrace. 

Daisuke tightened his grip around the other boys waist resting his chin on Ken's shoulder. He waited patiently for Ken to talk knowing he would eventually speak up. 

*He's so tense. What could be bugging him so much? I know he's been depressed about Takeru but this feels different. *

He was jolted out of his own thoughts by Ken whispering something so quietly he thought the other boy hadn't spoken at all.

"What?" He asked.

"I...I've..fallen in love with someone else." Ken said the last coming out in a rush.

Daisuke blinked in shock. There was no way he'd just heard what Ken had said. He released the other boy from his embrace and leaned back to stare at Ken in complete and utter surprise.

"What?" he asked for the second time.

Ken didn't turn around but wilted under Daisuke's gaze. His hands clutched the edge of the bed tightly and gazed at a spot on the carpet his hair falling into his eyes. Daisuke just sat waiting for Ken to speak ignoring his first urge to hug and comfort the digidestined of kindness.

"I didn't mean to Daisuke...I just..did." Ken said quietly from behind the curtain of his hair.

The goggled digidestined shook his head in confusion. He didn't under stand what Ken was trying to tell him. This was much more then he'd bargined for when he'd pressured Ken into confiding in him.

"Who?" It was a lame question but the only thing Daisuke could think of to ask.

Ken seemed to shrink even more into him self and whispered the name quietly as if he hoped Daisuke wouldn't hear and there for not ask again.

"Takeru."

Silence fell as Daisuke tried to absorb this information. It was hard to believe that his beautiful Ken had fallen for someone else. It hurt to think about it. He loved Ken and Ken had always said he loved him back so why was this happening? He looked away as he saw a tear fall from Ken's chin hitting the dark blue fabric of his uniform. He was too confused and hurt himself to help Ken with his feelings. The silence grew longer as neither of them spoke.

They both jumped as Daisuke's Mother knocked on the door and opened it slightly sticking her head within.

"Sorry to bother you two but Ken's Mother just phoned. She wants him to come home now..." she drifted off as Ken stood up quickly, grabbing his bag and walked out of the room head down.

She looked back at Daisuke who had flopped down onto the rest of the bed lying spread eagled to stare at the ceiling.

"Daisuke honey is everything okay? Did you two have a fight?" She asked in Motherly concern.

"It's okay Mom. Every things fine." He said hoping she'd leave it alone.

She nodded shutting the door. He sighed in relief. He wasn't really the type to talk to his parents about anything but Ken was one subject he never approached. They didn't know about their relationship and that was fine with him. They didn't need to know and probably wouldn't Want to know either. Not that they were homophobic but who wants to know their kid is gay it wasn't something even the most supportive parent would be happy about hearing so Daisuke hadn't told them.

He sighed and climbed beneath the blankets of his bed. He reached over and turned off the lamp. He felt suddenly tired and wanted to think about things but his mind couldn't think about anything coherantly. All he could do was feel. Hurt and confusion where twin demons within his head. He gave up trying to think and just let himself fall asleep.

*I'll deal with this in the morning*

~~~~~~~~~Poor Kenny baby!

Ken grabbed his bag and fled Daisuke's room gladly not able to stand the silence any longer. Daisuke's reaction had been better then he'd thought it would have been but much worse, much worse then he'd hoped. He walked home ignoring the bus and the falling snow wanting time to think.

*Why did I tell him that? He didn't need to know it wasn't nessisary. You know how worried he used to get about me finding someone else. Why did I have to go and tell him that?*

He sniffed as he tried not to cry. His hands where shaking and he clasped them tightly together on the handle of his book bag. He walked his thoughts circling around the same few thoughts. That Daisuke hated him now, he wouldn't be forgiven and he deserved to be rejected.

A block away from his house he paused and looked up at the lights of his apartment. He turned away and wandered into the park that was across the street from his home. He found a bench and sat down tired. 

*He must hate me. Why did I say anything at all? Why?*

He drew up his legs and rested his head on his knees arms wrapped about his legs. He let himself cry now the tears running down his face in twin rivers of misery.

*Why did I have to go and fall in love with my best friend? Why did I fall in love? Why did I have to tell the only person who's ever loved me back that I'd betrayed him? Why?*

~~~~~~~~~~~Next day

Hikari frowned tried to figure out what Daisuke was mumbling between his sobs. She'd been teasing him in a friendly manner in their gym class and suddenly he'd gotten this weird look on his face and had fled from the gym. She'd chased after him and had found him in the guys locker room crying in one of the change room stalls.

"Daisuke slow down and breath properly." She said siting down beside him and putting an arm around his shoulders.

She turned him around so that he was crying onto her shoulder instead of at the wall. She'd never seen the hyper active digidestined of courage this upset before and couldn't for the life of her figure out a why.

He mumbled something again and this time she made out a few words. It had something to do with Ken and something he'd said. Hikari frowned again this time in confusion. Ken would never intentionally hurt Daisuke in anyway. The two never fought they were incapable of inflicing harm on each other.

*So what happened here?*

"Daisuke-kun I can't help you if you don't calm down and tell me clearly what's wrong." She said gently to the sobbing boy.

He sniffed trying to calm himself down and Hikari smiled encouragingly as he sat up rubbing at his eyes. He looked terrible eyes all puffy and he had the most miserable expression on his face.

"Now tell me again what's wrong just slower and clearly this time."

It took a while but finally she was able to pull the full tale of what had happened the previous night out of a reluctant Daisuke. She was surprised to say the least. While she was good at reading the feelings and personalities of others this development came as a complete surprise. She'd never expected Ken to have feelings for Takeru before.

*But that's not the problem Hikari. Daisuke is really upset and I better calm him down.*

"Daisuke I think your looking at this all wrong and so is Ken from what you've told me." she started slowly picking her words carefully.

Daisuke just frowned still rubbing at his eyes and trying to stop the still steady flow of tears. He hadn't been able to stop them even though he'd stopped sobbing uncontrolably.

"Listen to me and try to understand okay?" she said taking one of his hands and rubbing it softly trying to keep him calm.

"I know from experience that you don't pick the people you love Daisuke. Just look at me and Takeru. Everyone thought we'd end up together but we never fell in love. I know Ken didn't plan on this Daisuke."

"I guess...." Daisuke said looking a bit more confused and equally upset.

"You said he had a small crush on Takeru from the beginning right?"

A nod.

"Well I bet he never really got over it but just forgot about it when he found you."

"I guess."

"So with what happened to Takeru he probably just realised he still cares about Takeru. No don't go all sad on me." She said as Daisuke started looking more depressed.

"I'm not done yet. Daisuke listen to me I'm trying to explain this. Now answer me this did he ever say he didn't love you still?"

Daisuke shook his head.

"Then what's the problem? If he still loves you and you him what's it matter he he also loves someone else?"

Daisuke just looked confused. Hikari sighed. This was like talking to a wall. When it came to situations of the heart Daisuke needed the idea pounded into his brain several times over until he understood.

"People can fall in love or be in love with more than one person. It doesn't have to be a bad thing. It all depends on what the person does about it."

Daisuke still looked confused and Hikari resisted the urge to physically knock the concept into his head.

"Lets put it this way......if Ken still loves you and wants to stay with you then what is the problem? Daisuke I know you two love each other and I don't think Ken would ever hurt you. He's upset I'm sure because he feels like he's betrayed you but doesn't that show he still loves you and wants to be with you?" She cheered mentally as the light of understanding crossed Daisuke's muddled features.

She got up and glanced at her watch. Daisuke stood up with her and grinned as he realised she was in the boys change room.

"Better get going Hikari before you get in trouble." he said his humour returning to him.

Hikari laughed and walked out. She paused at the door and looked back at Daisuke who was standing in the middle of the room apparently thinking.

"Daisuke?"

He looked up and smiled a little. 

"Yeah Hikari?"

"You'll be okay now right?"

He grinned and shook his head. She smiled back and left hopping everything would work out between them. They had enough problems and strain trying to bring Takeru out of his depression they didn't need an equally depressed Ken and upset Daisuke added to the list.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Daisuke. Again. Next day.

Daisuke sighed as he waited outside the Takaishi's apartment complex. He was waiting for ken to show up for the customary walk Takeru to school keep him from jumping into traffic or going off alone just to slit his wrists again duty. The steadily falling snow was starting to find it's way down his collar to melt and dribble down his neck.

He was still upset over what Ken had told him but under stood what Hikari had told him. What should it matter if Ken loved the blonde digidestined of hope as well as him? As long as Daisuke could still be with Ken and Ken wanted to be with him he shouldn't care. 

He looked up as ken's figure huddled against the cold apeared into view. Daisuke cursed himself an idiot for being so cold to his dark haired koibito and stepped into Ken's path as it became aparent he wasn't concentrating on his sroundings. Ken stopped walking and looked up blinking in confusion. His features froze as he saw who was blocking his path.

"Daisuke...."He stuttered half with cold, half with surprise.

Daisuke interupted him trying to look cheerful but new it was a strained expression.

"Ken I though about what you said. Well more like Hikari thought for me and I tried to understand but I have one question for you."

Ken nodded slightly looking worried and trying to hide it. Daisuke swallowed and looking into Ken's incredibly sexy deep amethyst eyes spoke.

"Do you still love me? Do you still want to be with me?" he asked quietly half afraid the answer would be no.

Ken's eyes widened and he shook his head in an affirmative. His eyes where filled with tears and his lips trembled slightly.

"Of course....I love you Daisuke and I never want to be apart from you ever!" He whispered his voice shaking slightly.

Daisuke smiled then a bright happy smile and stepped forward taking Ken into his arms and kissing him soundly on the lips. Ken raised trembling arms to hold onto the sleaves of Daisuke's jacket as he opened his mouth to Daisuke's kiss. They stopped the kiss and Ken rested his forehead against his looking into Daisuke's rich brown eyes.

"I thought you wouldn't what to ever see me again." Ken said quietly.

Daisuke smiled hugging Ken to him tighter. He realised Hikari was right... again and that Ken had been beating himself up over this. Not that he was surprised because if left alone to brood that's generally what Ken did.

"Of course not. I was more worried that you wouldn't want to be with me anymore... or something like that." he said confusing himself as he thought about it too much.

Ken started crying then and Daisuke frowned raising one hand to wipe them away gently.

"Now what's wrong Koibito?" he asked quietly.

"I don't deserve you..." he started.

"Okay stop I don't want to hear any more. I love you and I want to be around you so I must think you deserve me... or something like that." 

His last comment made Ken smile and laugh a little. Daisuke grinned and titled his head a bit to kiss Ken again. Ken smiled against his lips and put one arm around Daisuke's neck pulling himself closer his love.

~~~~~~~~~~~Look up.... waaaay up...Takeru!

Takeru watched the two below talking, kissing, talking then kissing again this time for much longer. They seemed oblivious the heavily snow falling around them or the strange looks they got from passing pedestrians and students on their way to school.

*They're happy...*

His Mom came into the room and paused hesititating before she spoke. She'd been very uneasy around Takeru since he'd slit his wrists and had been relying entirely on Yamato to deal with him.   
Takeru didn't mind, not because of any particular reason he just didn't care about anything. He wasn't quite numb like before to anything but more like when he'd walked to much through the snow and couldn't feel his feet anymore. He just couldn't feel anymore. There was nothing to feel he held absolutely nothing within his heart. Not even a desire to end his life drifted with him through the ice.

"Baby your friends will be here soon. You should get your shoes and coat on." She said interrupting Takeru's blank stare at his friends.

He turned away and went to put his winter stuff on. His mom watched him warily as he walked past. Normally he'd have been hurt by this distant behavior but he wasn't. After all that's all anyone had been treating him with. It wasn't their fault he was the one set drift and far away. They just couldn't reach him.

The door bell rang and he put on his hat. His mom answered the door dressed in her winter trench coat. 

"Thank goodness your finally here. I have to get going Takeru is putting on his stuff and should be out shortly. You'll have to lock up Takeru's got a key bye." her rushed voice sounded from the door before fading.

He stood up and walked to the door to put on his shoes. Daisuke and Ken stood in the door way slightly flushed from more than just the cold and waited for him to finish putting on his shoes. Ken had the same sad expression on his face that he always had around Takeru these days while Daisuke merely looked thoughtful and worried. Which where strange expressions to be seen on Daisuke's face at one time.

He stood up and walked out the door past the two. They followed and waited while he locked up. They continued on to walk to school in silence the softly falling snow masking all sounds except for the crunch of their feet.

~~~~~~~~~Daisuke

Eventually they'd realised that they had school and had stepped apart slightly flushed but smiling. They'd gone up stairs to pick up Takeru. As usual Ken had become silent with a slightly distressed look in his eyes as they waited for Takeru to finish lacing up his boots. Strangely enough Daisuke felt no jealousy towards him only a sense of protectiveness. He knew now how Ken felt about the blonde and he knew that Ken would probably never be very happy again until Takeru recovered from his depression.

They walked behind Takeru through the snow and once again Daisuke had the feeling of being caught between two rain storms. Though when he thought about it Takeru's mood was more like the snow falling around them then rain. Silent, sterile and cold.

Daisuke glanced at Ken and took his gloved hand in his own hoping to cheer him up if only just a little. Ken looked up and smiled slightly his eyes softening. He moved closer to Daisuke and removed his hand only to wrap it around his waist. Daisuke smiled and put his arm across his back holding into Ken's shoulder.

*Well I might have cheered him up a little but... yup there he goes off into his own little world.*

Daisuke looked up at Takeru who was fairly far ahead of them now and decided something had to be done. This whole thing was starting to wear down on Ken and would probably eat away at him until Takeru was better. But the problem was he didn't know what.  
Everyone hand been walking on egg shells around Takeru ever since he cut his wrists and while that might have been a good idea for someone else Takeru wasn't getting better. He never talked to anyone anymore, the blonde never teased Daisuke, didn't smile, didn't laugh, and was only getting worse as each day passed. 

"Ken what are we going to do with Takeru? Every day he just drifts further off and I think we're going to lose him soon." Daisuke said quietly to Ken as they walked.

Ken looked at him with an equally worried expression. He shook his head looking down at the foot steps in the snow.

"I don't know to be honest. I've talked to Yamato a few times and everyone's been keeping an eye on him, trying to get him to interact with them that's what the phyiatrist said to do. Get him involved..." Ken said quietly as if he doubted the advice. 

"Ken that wont work anymore. He's getting worse! He never laughs or smiles or " Ken cut him off.

"He's depressed of course he doesn't laugh."

"Yeah but he doesn't frown, he doesn't get mad, he doesn't even cry. There isn't anything there anymore surely You can see that Ken. You were acting the same way from what you've told me. After what happened with Wormon." Daisuke seemed to have gotten through to Ken as the dark haired boy frowned looking at Takeru who had paused when they'd stopped walking a few feet ahead.

"I think your right Daisuke. I feel like a royal idiot for not seeing this sooner...but some thing's different about that and what's happened to Takeru. I thought of this before but had forgotten.." Ken drifted off looking extremely worried.

"Care to share? I only have flashes of brillance every so often ya know." Daisuke said after awhile when Ken didn't continue.

Ken blinked, looked up and frowned. He had a strange look in his eyes. They were sick and dark as if he was realising something he hoped wasn't true.

"Takeru isn't acting like I was at least not anymore. He was before but more like the reverse. I was trying to find myself I believe Takeru was losing himself." He said quietly.

Daisuke frowned not liking where this was going. It sounded too much like what Hikari had told him before Takeru had slit his wrists. Ken continued quietly his arm holding even tighter to Daisuke's waist.

"I think..from what Hikari said to you and from experience he's completely lost himself." He finished like he hadn't wanted to say so out loud for fear of making his suspicions real.

"So Takeru's what? He's not acting anything like you were as the digimon kaiser..." Daisuke said slightly confused.

"No of course he wouldn't. Like Hikari said it's like a reversal of our crests. My kindness was turned to cruelty while Takeru's hope has turned to.."

"Despair. Yeah, Hikari said that before. So what do we do about it?" Daisuke asked feeling like they were talking in circles.

"I don't know. I barely know how I came out of my own problems in the first place." Ken shrugged looking more depressed than before. 

Daisuke hugged his shoulders a little hoping to cheer up Ken a little. They'd come to another dead end and had only made themselves depressed.

*But what can we do? I don't know, Ken doesn't know no one does or we'd have done something before this.*

He stared mournfully at the blonde figure walking a fair distance ahead of them and sighed. His mind searching in vain for a solution to takeru's problem.

~~~~~~~~~~~Ken a week later

The snow was still falling six days later and now coated everything in four and a half feet of white. School had been cancelled for the afternoon and Ken was still in his pajama's. Daisuke had promised to come over if he could get through the snow okay and his parents gave him the go ahead. Ken was waiting for him to phone  
and confirm when the phone rang. He snatched it up quickly smiling a little.

"Moshi moshi Daisuke?"

"Hello Ken it's Takeru's mother."

"Oh hello. What is it?"

"I have to go to work again today and I was wondering if you'd look after Takeru again. Yamato would but he's completely snowed in."

"Of course Ms. Takaishi. I'll be right over."

"Thank you so much Ken. Good bye dear."

"Bye and your welcome."

He hung up the phone and called Daisuke's. His sister Jun picked up the phone and he managed to get a message through to meet him on the way to Takeru's. Aparently he was in the shower.

Ken pulled on his jacket, a scarf and his winter shoes and proceeded into the wintery silence of the snow fall. Acording to the news report this was all part of a large system of mini storms all coming one after another. The sky was clear at night but by mid morning the snow was falling again.

He trugged through the snow and wished it was a little less deep. It came to about mid thigh and was abitch to walk through.   
Daisuke wasn't at their normal meeting spot but Ken wasn't surprised his house was farther but Daisuke wasn't known for his ability to move quickly. He continued onwards to Takeru's knowing his Mother was most likely wanting to get on her way.

*Though how she can get to work in this stuff I don't know.*

He got to the door and knocked politely. The door opened almost immediately and Takeru's mother rushed up pulling him with her. She shut the door and locked it giving Ken an apologetic smile.

"I hate to make you walk back so soon in the cold but I'm going to be gone for most of the day and there isn't a scrap of food inside. You don't mind having Takeru over do you?" She asked hurridly.

Ken shook his head and she left without waiting for a verbal agreement. He blinked and shrugged figuring her work was putting pressure on her to show up. He turned to Takeru who wasn't paying attention to anything just staring at the snow with a blank expression.

*Daisuke's was right there isn't anything there. Before in the trees at school there was a presence looking out from behind, now there's nothing.*

Ken tried to keep back tears and tugged on Takeru's sleave to get him moving. Each time Ken saw the nothingness behind the blonde's eyes he felt like crying. It hurt to see someone he loved so far away. So distant and cold you couldn't see them anymore.

They struggled through the snow and it began to snow harder in big fat flakes. It obscured all vision to less then six feet away. 

*Dang and now we're going to get lost in snow storm great.*

He thought just as he heard a soft flop from behind him. He turned around feeling a bit numb from the cold to see Takeru had fallen. He was covered in snow and the situation might have been comical if he hadn't looked so completely uncaring. He pushed himself up a little then paused as if he didn't see the use of moving anymore. Ken pushed through the snow and pulled him up by the arm. Takeru moved slowly and almost reluctantly. 

"Takeru, what are we going to do with you." Ken muttered sadly as he helped the uncaring boy through the snow.

His limbs moved slowly and woodenly. Ken started to become worried. The cold was starting to get to him and they still had quite a ways to go and with Takeru moving as slowly as he was that was going to take some time.

*And here I thought cancelling school was being a bit drastic for a few feet of snow.*

A hand grabbed his arm and Ken looked up into Daisuke's smiling face. He blinked confused and Daisuke pulled him along a little still smiling.

"Hey I figured you'd all ready when ahead and decided to catch up. You two look cold. It's only four more blocks to your place right Ken?" He said cheerfully.

"Y..y..yeah t..t..that's right..." Ken stuttered teeth chattering.

Daisuke put an arm through Ken's and helped then through the snow. He was grinning having always liked snow being a bit of a snow boarder. Ken on the other hand was feeling pretty low still. He felt even worse as he tripped sending them all into the snow. Daisuke cursed loudly and Ken pulled himself out of the snow drift he'd fallen face first into. He struggled to sit up and he could hear the brunette floundering around laughing a bit. He managed to get up and looked for Takeru. Once again he was just sitting there not even noticing how much snow had gotten on him or he was shoulder deep in the fluffy wet stuff. 

*Why does he act like everything isn't even to be attempted. I don't understand this and I don't know how to help!*

Ken felt tears spring to his eyes and he tried to wipe them away before daisuke saw and once again helped their slent companion to his feet.

~~~~~~~~~~~Daisuke a little bit more IC this time

Daisuke brushed snow out of his hair wishing once again he'd brought a tuque. Or ear muff as stupid as they looked. Then his ears wouldn't be numb. He looked over at the other two as Ken virtualy had to lift Takeru out of the snow. Daisuke emediatly felt angry. Ken had tears in his eyes again over Takeru. All week and probably before that Ken had been getting upset over his friends lack of response to anything. But this was the first time he'd ashualy started crying about it. 

*Damnit can't Takeru see what he's doing to everyone? Yamato's a wreak he hates not being able to help his 'little bro' when he needs it. His Mom is completely frazzled and I'm ready to punch a brick wall I'm so sick and tired of watching him drift farther away. Hikari is starting to think this is all her fault for breaking up with him though that's not true, not at all. Then there's Ken.......Ken is about to fret himself to pieces if Takeru doesn't do something!*

He frowned and decided to do something about all this. He managed to wade through the snow to the other two. Ken was blinking away tears as he looked at Daisuke in confusion. He grabbed the apathetic Takeru's shoulders and shook him violently.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" He shouted while Takeru just blinked at him owlishly barly focusing on his face.

"Don't you see, don't you care what's happening to you? You just sat in a five foot snow drift and didn't move!" he shouted into his face shaking him again.

"Don't you give a damn anymore about anything?"

Takeru just stared blankly at him nothing behind his icey grey eyes. Daisuke franticly searched through his mind trying to find something that would knock his friend out of his self emposed apathy. 

"Everyone's so worried about you and you don't even try. Your own brother Mr. Cool and tough has been reduced to a wreak he doesn't even smile much anymore. Your Mom has been crying every time I see her. Don't you care about that?" He said again shaking Takeru again though less violently.

There was still no responce behind those cold eyes and Daisuke became desperate. He couldn't stand by and let his friend fade away beneath his cold isolation hurting everyone especially Ken. He knew how much Ken cared for Takeru and he wouldn't let Takeru hurt him by drifting away from the world. He stepped back and suddenly Takeru was back in the snow his hand on his red check where Daisuke had punched him. Hard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~Takeru

He'd gone through the walk in his normal state of uncaring ignoring the frantic worryings of his Mother as prepared for work. They'd once again threatened her with a pink slip if she didn't show. He'd ignored Ken's obvious stress over him and had walked along through the snow uncaring. The snow fitted his thoughts cold, remote and desolate. 

He hadn't cared much about falling in the snow. Not the first time nor the second. He was all ready wet and cold why did it matter if he got up or not. Ken was persistant pulling him up forcing him to keep going.

When Daisuke had charged forward and started shaking him he hadn't reacted. So what if the out going brunette was mad why should he care? Then Daisuke had stepped back and an enraged expresion on his face pulled back his fist and swung. It had hurt and he hadn't expected it. He fell backwards into a snow drift landing hard on his back. He sat up one hand to his cheek.

Was that surprise? It couldn't be he didn't, couldn't feel anything.

Daisuke stood there and had tears of his own in his eyes. Though his where more out of fustration then worry as Ken's were. He had his fists cluched at his sides and was breathing hard.

*He's really mad..*

The thought flitted breifly across his mind as Daisuke began to shout again.

"Damn it Takeru when are you going to snap out of this? Your going to drag everyone who cares about you down as you go." He paused rubbing at his eyes in anoyance.

"Your hurting everyone who loves you and I wont let you anymore!" He yelled flinging an arm out at Ken who was watching the whole thing with wide eyes crying silently.

Takeru stared in total shock at the emotion in Daisuke's voice. His voice cracked as he continued quieter this time. 

"Don't you care?" He said again less angry and more dejected, "Don't you care about what happens to any of us if you completely give up hope? How can we if you of all people don't?"

He sat in the snow his body growing as chill as his soul as Daisuke and Ken slightly behind him stared at him quietly.

"We care about you Takeru and we are not going to let you drift away from us."

He felt the ice the cold that was surounding him, felt how the rain had numbed his soul then started to freeze until he felt nothing. Now he knew, beyond the numbness it hurt. It hurt more than anything he'd ever felt before. The two before him began to blur and waiver. He blinked away the distrotion and raised a shocked hand to his face. He was crying. For the first time in months he felt something. And he broke down into hysterical sobs as he felt the hurt inside him.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Part Two is OVER!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
Okay I wrote this particular authors note in the middle of Ken's confession. Oh geez I hate making my Kenny baby and his Dai-koi fight. Snif..snif...I hate doing that! *Steals herself to write the rest* I can do this. I can write them having a fight. This is an angst filled fic..I must write the rest or else the story can not continue! But poor Kenny baby...aren't I pathetic freaking out over my own story. Sigh oh well... I shall continue onward! Whining worse then Daisuke all the way....

And now I am done! I was going to write more of this and let my friends edit buuuut I'm too lazy. Besides then the handful of you who like my story would have to wait longer and we can't have that now can we! No we can not. Besides this was a good place to end no? Oh remember that surprise I mentioned? Well here it comes! *Laughs evilly* Wahahahahahahahahahahaaa.........in part three. Kathrine's a smidge mad at me for doing this to Takeru but hey I can't control my sick mind now can I? Do I even want to? Want to know what the hell I'm talking about? Read on my friends read on and find out how truly twisted I am....Though I can, will and have done, so much, that's worse. 


	3. Drawing him out..

  
Okay this is just chapters three four and five put into one. Aka the original chapter format. It ends at a good place so I've decided to keep it that way. There's only one more chapter coming up and a prolgue. I should, SHOULD be done the next chapter within the week I hope. As long as nothing comes up...Shouldn't cuz most of my classes are just wrapping things up for the year. Well that's all. Enjoy and R&R!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ken sighed as he watched the restless blonde sleeping on the couch. He was sitting beside Daisuke almost in his lap in a large arm chair by the gas fireplace, which was turned on full blast to warm their frozen limbs. He sat with his head resting on Daisuke's shoulder, his arm around Ken's shoulders. 

They'd both been frozen with more then cold as Takeru had started to cry in the snow. It hurt Ken more then he could say to hear the pain in those sobs. Daisuke always good for when action was needed snapped out of his shock first. He'd half lifted, half supported a still sobbing Takeru on to his feet. Ken had jumped forward and Takeru supported between the two of them they had managed to bring him to Ken's apartment. Daisuke had managed to get all his winter stuff off while Ken turned on the fireplace. Then they sat in front of the fire for at least two hours while Takeru had cried. He never stopped, never faultered and Ken suspected he barely knew they'd been there. He was still locked up in his own world but at least Daisuke had managed to find where he was. Takeru had fallen asleep still crying and Daisuke had put him on the couch to rest. He'd been asleep now for about three hours. Ken and Daisuke had eaten lunch and had curled up on the chair to wait for him to wake up.

*Now all we have to do is bring him out. Wonderful we're back where we started.*

He sighed again and Daisuke gave his shoulders a squeeze.

"What's wrong now Koibito." He asked quietly.

Ken shrugged and turned more towards the brunette snaking an arm around his waist, his other hand holding Daisuke's and intertwining their fingers. He liked just sitting with Daisuike especially becuase it was rare to find him in such a calm mood. Or in a less excited state. Ken swore up and down that kissing was Daisuke's favourite sport next to soccer.

"I'm just worried that's all. It just seems like he really hasn't gotten better. More like we're back to where we were before he slit his wrists and that seems more dangerus then before. He might try something like that again now." Ken hoped Daisuke understood what he was talking about.

His koi would on ocasion understand something fully and be able to act on it like with Takeru's depression. He'd managed to figure out the right thing to do but it took him awhile. Daisuke rested his head atop of Ken's and frowned.

"I guess your right. The only reason he's sleeping now is because he was too exhausted to stay awake any longer." Daisuke murmered.

"I know but I know this time around we wont let him down. We're not going to let him do this to himself again." He said completely determined not to make the same mistakes twice.

Daisuke hugged him to him tighter and they sat there next to the fire waiting for their friend to wake up. Soon lulled by the heat they fell asleep in each others arms.

(A/N okay that last line was cliqued but I couldn't help myself it's too Kawaii!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~Take-chan

Takeru opened dry sore eyes slowly unsure of where he was. Memories came flooding back as he remembered the events of the morning. His Mom had had to go to work so she'd phoned up Ken. They'd worked their way to his place Daisuke joining up with them half way then..Daisuke had gotten really pissed off at him for falling. 

*No not just for falling.*

Takeru corrected his thoughts.

*For falling and not caring. I didn't care and he got mad. Trust Daisuke to get mad over something so trivial.*

He had been sleeping with his back to the room and he turned around to see where the other two were. Both had fallen asleep themselves on a large arm chair by the fireplace. They were curled up together like a pair of kittens. Normally this would have made him smile but he still didn't feel right. Not like the cold uncaring of before but lost, confused and numb. The numbness was back with all the aces it came with. He supposed it wasn't really like being numb at all, his thoughts and feelings felt slow and heavy like an arm that's fallen asleep while you slept. Cold, clumbsy and a little frightening. A dead limb apearing in your bed your fogged mind to irrational to see it for what it was. Your own.

He stayed where he was lost in his own morbid thoughts for an hour or more when Daisuke woke up. The leader of the second generation digidestined opened his eyes and yawned. Takeru watched as he blinked at Ken who was moulded into his side then tried (Unsucsessfuly) to get up without waking the other boy. Ken glared at Daisuke as he stood to get up. Daisuke's attempt at movement causing him to be suddenly deposited on the floor in front of the chair.

"Sorry Ken. I was trying not to wake you up." He said extending a hand to his boyfriend.

"Yeah..oh your awake." Ken said as he stood up and saw Takeru watching them from the couch.

They stood there awkwardly then Daisuke shifted and moved towards the kitchen planting a smile on his face. Ken looked away from Takeru and glanced at Daisuke.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

Daisuke grinned from the kitchen's entrance.

"I am going to cook some food. If you two didn't notice it's now five thirty. Supper should be eaten around six so I cook!" He said looking smug and disappeared into the kitchen.

Ken looked as if he wanted to drag Daisuke Out of the kitchen. Takeru idily wondered why. It wasn't as if he would burn the house down.

"And don't you worry Ken. I've been learning from Yamato. This time I wont set the stove on fire or break the microwave." Daisuke's voice sounded from the other room.

The indigo haired digidestined didn't look convinced but didn't say anything. He turned to Takeru and looked at him with sad eyes. Ken almost always had sad eyes. The group of digidestined had gotten used to it after a while. Of course around Daisuke he was always happy and most of the time around Takeru. He was Ken's best friend after all.  
"So how are you feeling?" Ken asked.

Takeru shrugged and sat up looking away from Ken's steady gaze. He didn't want the other boy to question him to much. He didn't want the others getting to close to him. It was uncomfortable this ability to get past the barriers that had surrounded his soul. Of course he still had the self imposed barrier. One he hadn't realised he'd put up until Daisuke had slapped him. Some how the spiky haired digidestined had broken those too.

*I don't want them to get close I don't want to feel again.*

It had been adictive the coldness and isolation. There he hadn't felt, hadn't cared. The numb feeling wasn't enough to stop the dull ace in his heart. He didn't want to feel it. Like before it would grow a black pit gapping below him ready to drag him away from the grey landscape where nothing was raw or jagged.

Takeru shuddered away from the thought bringing up his knee's and wrapping his arms around them. He didn't want to think at all or feel. He leaned against the couches back and rested his head against it. He stared blankly at a table with pictures on it forgeting Ken's presence as he tried to forget the darkness.

~~~~~~~~~

A/N Oh yeah writers block is GONE! I am on a roll. Dang it I wont be able to finish this today. That is my only reservation. Thank you Leth(everyone thank Leth) Cuz she gave me the fuel I needed to write And got me going today! For one measly strawberry I promised I'd get this chapter done in two days! So I better shut up and start typing ne?

~~~~~~~~Daisuke

*So maybe I need more cooking lessons.*

Daisuke thought as he realised Ken didn't have the ingrediant's for the things he knew how to cook. Grilled Cheese, Macaroni and Cheese, Nacho's with Cheese and Crackers and Cheese.

*Are Ken's parents lactose intolerant or something?*

He decided he could make spagetti. After digging around a bit he had found a jar of instant sauce. He could boil noodles. That was easy. Besides he loved noodles of any kind. Ramen, Udon, Bow Tie, the curly spiraly kind.

He put on the noodles and went to pick the sauce. There was garlic and onion, Classic Italian, Sundried Tomato and Spinich. He picked the third and twisted the lid. Tried to twist the lid that is. It was stuck on hard. He pulled and pulled but it wouldn't come off. He pulled harder biting his lip. Finally the lid popped off and Daisuke's elbow went flying back into the pot of noddles. They tipped over and some landed on the burner. They caught fire. Daisuke dropped the jar as he freaked out over the fire. The jar broke. Then he forgot about the fire and freaked out over all the sauce and glass on the floor. Then the fire alarm went off as smoke filled the room.

~~~~~~~~Ken

The way Takeru avoided his question worried him. He didn't look like he wanted to talk but Ken was determined not to let his friend drift off or push him away. He was about to sit by the boy who was now curled up about himself looking rather lonely and lost when a crash came from the kitchen. Then a shattering sound and several curses coming from no one other then Daisuke.

"Oh no....not again." Ken muttered as the smoke alarm went off and smoke drifted out of the kitchen.

He ran to the kitchen and saw a fire on the stove, red sauce all over the kitchen floor and broken glass. Daisuke was of course in the middle looking slightly panicked. Coughing from the smoke Ken grabbed a fire extinguisher from the corner(Bought after the last time Daisuke had almost burned down the apartment) and put out the fire.

Takeru had followed and blinked into the smokey kitchen. Daisuke looked from him to Ken and tried to explain what happened.

"First I couldn't find any cheese.."

*Cheese? What does that have to do with anything.*

"So I figured I could just make spagetti."

*Mistake number one.*

"Then the lid just popped off and the pot over turned.*

*One would think Daisuke could handle opening a jar and cooking noodles.*

"Then I dropped the jar."

*...kami-sama..*

"You know the rest..I'm sorry Ken this time was just an acident! Honest!" Daisuke finished looking at Ken.

Ken just looked back then started laughing. Daisuke was covered in sauce, soot and even a few noodles. Plus he couldn't move away from the stove without stepping on the glass. Combine that with the pathetic look on his face.... 

He gave Ken a dirty look as he grabbed the table to keep from falling over while he laughed. Takeru just watched not seeing the humour in the situation. Ken finally calmed down and managed to help Daisuke clean up.

~~~~~~~Take-chan

Takeru went back to the living room and sat down on the couch. Daisuke's little accident had come at a good time. He now could ignore the other two. They had forgoten about now anyway. This was what he wanted. He didn't want them hovering over him, worrying and trying to get him to open up. He just didn't want to feel anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~ Daisuke

Ken's Mom and his Dad had managed to get to work came home around six and helped with the clean up. By then the snow had stopped falling and some of the streets had been cleared. They took both Takeru and Daisuke home but not before getting a promise out of daisuke that he would never ever touch the kitchen again. Ever.

*It was an accident. It's not like I did that on perpose. Ken didn't have to laugh so much ether.*

Daisuke grumbled as he jumped into bed that night. He was about to drift off when a thought popped into his mind.

*We forgot about Takeru.*

Well they didn't really forget but cleaning up the kitchen then being carted off by Ken's parents almost emediatly after had made him and Ken...forget about Takeru. Daisuke was sure Ken was going into little mini fits of guilt now.

*Now I'll have Takeru And Ken to cheer up tomorrow if school opens again.*

He flipped over and stared at the cracks in his ceiling. Takeru's recovery was now top on his list of things to do. He knew Ken would freak if Takeru tried to kill himself again. He would never let anything hurt Ken like that ever again. Besides Takeru was his friend. Daisuke would always help a friend no matter what.

One problem. While he was Takeru's friend their friendship had never been that close. Sure Takeru always bugged him and he bugged him back but they'd never talked or just hung out together. Always in a group.

*Ken was his best friend. Not me. Yeah well Ken's way to wrapped up in this to be able to handle anything well. He'll get as upset as Takeru if no one stops him.*

Daisuke thought about this for a moment and came to one conclusion.

*I'll just have to get to know Takeru better. Even if he's just getting to know himself again. Even if theres not much there right now. Even if he doesn't want me to. I owe it to Ken to try.*

~~~~~~Three days later at school. Same POV

The weather has warmed up after the last big storm and the snow was quickly melting. It was hard getting around in the flooded streets but school had reopened. Daisuke was walking to Takeru to school by himself. His mother had been beside herself with joy that her son had started talking again. This was the only diffrence in his behavoir. That and he actually did stuff without being forced physically to do it.

"So Takeru...." Daisuke started trying to find a way to talk to the blonde haired boy.

Takeru glanced at him his greyblue eyes unreadable, at least to Daisuke. 

"Are you going to join the basketball team again this year?" He asked.

"No." Was the short reply.  
  
"Why not? You love basketball." Daisuke asked confused.

"I don't care."

Daisuke gave him a look of pure exasaperation while Takeru just walked on. He couldn't believe he hadn't noticed his friends odd behavior before. They'd been good if not terrific friends before this. Daisuke shook his head a little to clear it. He'd gone over this all ready and had formed a plan. Be Takeru's friend. A better friend then before.

*Besides I do have the Digiegg of Friendship. This should be a walk in the park.*

He gave Takeru a sideways glance. He noted that while he wasn't totally out of it like before there was something lurking below the surface of his eyes that made Daisuke's heart sink.

*Or maybe not...*

~~~~~~~~~

A/N Okay I'm going to be skipping days even weeks here okay? It would take way to long to go over the slooow recovery of Takeru right? So yeah...you'll get the point....now I'll shut up before I give too much away. Still got a few chapters left...This is sooo much longer then my intended two maybe, Maybe three chapters fic.

~~~~~~~~~Few days later Yamato POV

Yamato sat at the kitchen/living room/dinning room table and watched his little brother who was doing homework. He was recovering from his depression slowly and seemed yet again to be at a stand still. He wasn't getting any better but then he wasn't getting any worse. At least that was what he, his parents and the other digidestined thought. Ken and Hikari wern't so sure though. They worried almost too much.

*Ken's really been bent out of shape by all this from what I've seen. He's a good friend to Takeru same with Daisuke. Never thought I'd see the day when Daisuke went out of his way to be nice, supportive and just plain there for anyone before. Physicaly yes, emotionally no. Guess he's finally growing up. Hmmm, about the same age as my Taichi when he decided to grow up.*

Takeru's blonde head lifted from his books and stared back at Yamato a question in his eyes. There was the strange thing. His eyes was what told everyone he wasn't quite out of the woods yet. They were a dull grey blue that tended to creep others out if he looked at you too long. 

"Sorry Takeru I was just thinking. If I'm bugging you I could go do something else." he said.

Takeru shook his head in a negative and stood up closing his books. Yamato looked at him in surprise.

"Done all ready?" he asked.

"No but I don't feel like doing homework right now. I'll get it done later." Takeru said flatly moving to one of the windows and looking outside.

He was in another mood to do nothing and say nothing, Yamato could tell. There wasn't much anyone could do for him during these except make sure he didn't wander into the kitchen again. The bandages from before still adorned his wrists protecting the stitches. A constant reminder of how everyone had failed him.

Suddenly the phone rang making Yamato jump about ten feet in surprise. Takeru didn't even flinch. Giving his brother one last worried look he walked over to the phone and picked it up.

"Moshi, Moshi Yamato here."

..........

"Oh hey Sora."

..........

"No I didn't forget. I've just been busy lately."

...........

"Sorry I can't that night. Promised Taichi I'd go to his soccer game."

............ 

"Yeah..sure......*sigh* Yeah, yeah that's okay."

...........

"All right I'll meet you at six."

...........

"Yeah, love you too."

Yamato hung up and turned back towards the room. He didn't want to go on a date with Sora tonight be she'd been pushy lately and he need to keep things going. The he remembered Takeru. He was supposed to be taking care of him today.

*Damn he's so quiet it's easy to forget he's even here.*

The blonde thought for a moment and turned back to phone.

~~~~~~~~~Take-chan

The door bell rang and Yamato stood up to answer it. He'd phoned Daisuke to cover for him while he went on his date with Sora. Takeru hadn't paid attention to any of this. He didn't care what his brother did or who came over. 

He could hear his brother talking to the hyper active teenager then leaving several minutes later. As he continued to stare out he window at nothing foot steps approached. Daisuke suddenly popped into view beside him.

"Hey Take-chan! What's up? What ya wanna do?" He said his brown eyes wide with energy.

*Great Yamato calls Daisuke over when he's in a hyper active mood. Like I need this.*

"Nothing." He answered flatly to both questions.

Daisuke merely folded his arms over his chest and gave Takeru a half hearted glare. 

"We are doing something. Now either you pick or be dragged to where I want to go." He said.

Takeru knew the threat was genuine. Daisuke would never back down on a threat. Still he couldn't think of anything because he didn't care to do anything. He looked away from Daisuke animated face and shrugged.

"Okay then I know exactly what we can do!" Daisuke said cheerfully not missing a beat.

He forced Takeru to put on his shoes and a jacket, then grabbing his arm dragged the other boy outside. They went to the mall where Daisuke got a new pair of cargo shorts and a new vest. Not to mention freaking out over a vest that was a black, blue and purple replica of his Digiworld jacket. Then it was across town to some book store to pick up something for Ken. Daisuke calmed down for about five seconds in there with all the books and soothing music. Then was back to himself as he spent the better part of an hour looking through CD's and forcing Takeru to listen to the sample booths.

All in all it was quite egsasting. Takeru had never been the sole focus of Daisuke's boundless energy before this. The auburn haired youth had always ignored him when he'd been chasing Hikari then had been too involved with Ken to hang out much. That and they hung out with a different crowd at school.

*He just doesn't stop...*

He though through his indifferent fog as Daisuke dragged him into one of those huge mega mart stores. He blinked as he realised where they were and gave Daisuke a look. Daisuke grinned back at him and grabbing a sleeve dragged him towards the food section.

"I am starving and I don't have enough money to buy us both lunch so sample tables here we come!" He said with a grin.

Takeru just stared at the back of Daisuke's head as the boy approached the first table. He couldn't believe they were going to systematicly go searching for free samples, it was just so..so..so Daisuke. Sighing he resigned himself to his fate and followed along. 

They filled up on weenie roasts, crackers with cream cheese, microwave Udon, chicken strips, stir fry and an energy bar for desert. At one table Daisuke managed to convince the elderly lady at the table to give him and Takeru five samples each.

They walked out of the mega store with Daisuke looking extremely please with himself.

"Man that was a good day to come here! That lady at the chicken strips booth was nice giving us three pieces each!" Daisuke said.

Takeru grinned shaking his head. The lady had given the chicken to Daisuke in pity. Some how he'd managed to look three years younger and like he never got a full meal. When he'd started to pull the waters works she'd caved and had donated food to both of them.

*Daisuke should go into acting. He'd probably have the time of his life too.*

~~~~~~~~~~~Dai-chan's POV

Daisuke noticed the smile and was practically jumping for joy around his skull. Takeru hadn't smiled in who knows how long. He knew he just had to keep Takeru in a good mood. Even though he didn't know why he was in a good mood. He spun around and grabbed Takeru's arm again as an idea occurred to him.

"Hey look! It's a poster for that weird movie from America let's go see it! It's supposed to be hilarious!" he said dragging Takeru behind him.

He pulled Takeru into the movie theatre not stopping to see wether he wanted to see the movie or not. Takeru gave him a strange look as he paid for the tickets.

"I thought you didn't have any money left?" he asked.

"No money for **food** baka." He explained.

He did another jig for joy as Takeru smiled again. He was on a roll and this movie was sure to cheer him up even more. He bought pop corn , a huge bag of sour keys, a large root beer and three candy bars.

"Hey Take-chan," he said turning to the other boy.

"Do you want anything?"

Takeru stared at him, then at the junk in his arms then back up again. He chuckled and shook his head.

"No I think your glutton enough for the both of us." he said.

*WHOA! He even made a joke! This is so cool! All right, Ken's gonna freak when he hears about this!*

He sat down and watched the movie laughing his head off at the weird crack addled antics of some guy named Tom Green.

~~~~~~~~~~~~Take-chan again.

Takeru laughed as Daisuke once again started singing 'Daddy would you like some sausage?' on the train ride home. He was starting to scare this older couple sitting across from them. 

He was definetly feeling strange. Hanging around the energetic Daisuke seemed to be having a good effect on him. The other boy never stopped and never walked on egg shells around him. Eventually the constant barrage of insanity got to him. He'd smiled, then grinned then laughed as Daisuke made an idiot out of himself repeatedly.

He was starting to understand Ken's relationship with him better too. He'd never understood how the two got together in the first place. Ken was quiet, composed, extremely intelligent Daisuke was...none of those things. Ken's answer when asked why he liked him the answer was always 'how could I not like someone who wears goggles?'. 

*Now I know what he meant. How could one feel lonely for depressed with mister insanity himself constantly there. He doesn't over whelm you he takes you along for the ride.*

They finally reached Yamato's apartment and he went inside. Yamato was back from his date and since it was a school night Daisuke went straight home.

To Takeru's surprise he still felt better after Daisuke left. Not as good as he'd felt around Daisuke himself but..more alive then he had in weeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~Ken's POV

Ken listened on the phone as Daisuke blabbed about Takeru. It certainly was something exciting. Since he was going to go visit Takeru on the weekend he now couldn't wait to see this miraculous change. Of course it probably wasn't to pronounced but...it was exciting.

After letting Daisuke babble on for another twenty minutes he hung up on him. (The only way to cut off the constant flow of words) he then turned back to the homework he was working on for one of his college courses. He couldn't concentrate. His mind kept on slipping towards Takeru.

*It'll be great to see him more alive again. These past few weeks haven't been much of an improvement from before.*

He sighed and resting his chin on his arms looked at a picture taken of the younger digidestined while they'd still been fighting Arukenimon. He'd just joined the group and had still been depressed over what he'd done. Looking at the picture though you could tell what the others had thought of him.

It didn't have Hikari because she'd taken the picture. If she had been Ken suspected it might have looked slightly different. Both Takeru and Daisuke would have stood beside her. As it was Iori was sanding beside Miyako who'd sat down cross legged on the ground. Ken was standing slightly behind Iori. Takeru had stood beside Ken. You couldn't see it but he'd placed one hand on Ken's elbow to keep him from ducking out of the picture like he'd done twice already. Daisuke had stood on Ken's other side and was leaning slightly into him. He'd been reaching behind Ken to place 'bunny ears' above Takeru's head.

Ken smiled as he remembered. He'd been very embarrassed by the whole thing. At that time he'd had a crush on both the boys. He was just glad he wasn't inclined to blush . If he had been this picture would have had one red tomato in it. With both Takeru and Daisuke standing so close, both touching him. It definetly had been a heart wracking experience. But even then he'd known that those two at least had forgiven him. 

*Daisuke had made it clear from the start that he was my friend. Takeru was no different he was just quiet about it.*

Takeru had always been there for him. Someone he could talk to and lean on when he needed it. After the digital world they'd become quick best friends. They'd often msg each other on their D3 terminal (that's what it's called right? Tell me if it isn't!) late at night and talk for hours. Well it was mostly Ken talking about his problems and Takeru offering advice and support.

*He was always there for me and the one time he needs me I let him down. Well not anymore. Daisuke's great for bringing you out of a depression but not for curing it. This time I'll be the one listening.*

Sighing Ken put down the picture and got ready for bed. He had college courses for the rest of the week and wouldn't see Takeru until then. He was telling himself to relax and not think about things too hard until then when an idea struck him.

He grabbed something then crawled into bed turning off the light. He opened his D3 terminal and typed out a msg hoping he'd read it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Take-chan 

It was the day after his outing with Daisuke and he was still feeling better if not by much. He couldn't seem to keep that alive feeling for long. The places that had started to work again were back to their normal numb state. The world was flat and boring once again. There was one tiny difference. He didn't want it anymore. He didn't want to wander through his life without feeling, without hope. Nor did he want to go back to the cold isolation that had surrounded him after his suicide attempt. Daisuke had managed to give him just a bit of this lust for life back. Not much but it was there. 

  
*Only I don't know how to feel again.*

The grey was once again oppressive, clouding his feelings and spreading through out him like a dead weight. He was sinking back into the darkness and no matter how much he wanted to he could leave, couldn't stop.

A light flashing on his desk startled him where he was lying on his bed. It was past eleven and he'd been trying to sleep. He got up and grabbed his D3 Terminal bringing it back to bed with him.

"Who would be msging me this late?" he mused out loud flipping it open once he was comfortable again.

/ Hey Takeru what's up?  
Ken/

Takeru blinked in surprise. Ken hadn't msged him this late since they'd started to go to school together.

/Nothing./

He wondered why Ken would suddenly start this up again and chewed on a hang nail.

/Oh, well I was just checking up on ya. That's all./

/Why?/

/I'm your best friend right?/

/Yeah./

/Well then I'm allowed to worry about you. Besides it's not like your very talkative on the phone or in person./

/I guess./

/Whoa two words. By the time this conversation is done I might work you up to a real sentence./

/Maybe./

/Your impossible! /

/:)/

/Another smile and joking! You must be feeling better. What did Daisuke do give you a brain transplant?/

/He's your boyfriend, you tell me./

/Aha a sentence!/

/Bravo. So why did you msg me again. Anything other then checking up?/

/Yeah./

/?/

/Did I not say I'm your best friend. I'm worried! You haven't been talking, haven't been smiling and did..what you did!/

/Yeah, so?/

/I want to know why. I want to know if I can help. I always told you my problems over this thing. Maybe you can tell me yours this way too./

Takeru stared at the screen unsure of what to say. He hadn't wanted to over burden Ken with his problems before because Ken always seemed to vunrable to handle anyone else's. 

*Maybe I've been giving him too little credit. I know I've done that before with Daisuke. Maybe I should...no.*

He shut the terminal and shoved it under his bed so he couldn't see the light if Ken msged him again. There was no use talking about this to anyone. It's wasn't even something to begin with. He would deal with it on his own and just hope he could fight off this numbing greyness on his own.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Ken stared at the empty screen and knew Takeru had ignored him. He must have pushed him to much. Now he'd just have to try something else.

*But how can I show him he needs to talk about this? Keeping things inside isn't going to help him any. I know, I've tried and He was the one who showed me how to open up in the first place.*

he turned back to the terminal and left one last note for him to read when he was ready.

/I'll be here Take-chan. I can wait./

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah it's just the last three chapters again.Now the new and improved third chapter as it was originaly supposed to be. I just got lazy.Heheh oh well. Anyway start looking for chapter four coming up soon. I hope..you guyz hope....Takeru hopes? We shall see..we shall see. 


	4. Unexpected results

This is it.The last chapter. I can't believe it. This is my first story that I've really really really liked and people have liked too! I happy happy happy! It's been put on two sites! But sad cuz it's gonna be over!! :( -See sad me! Anyway there will be a sappy little ending thingy after this chapter but that'll only be about two pages long and will be up after this! Sigh...I still can't believe this is it....my precious Hope gets some KFC....over. Hee but then I've got my Jyoumato, 3 Taito's, 2 Daiken's, Kenkeru AU, Yamataisuke, Yamakeru, Takemato, Kousamu with Daiken and Osken and....oh that's all I've got for now......Hmmm I should make files for those so I don't forget them.......oh, ahem, anyhoo here's the chapter you've all wanted to kill me for!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~The weekend

Takeru sighed as he walked into his apartment. He'd had another afternoon of being dragged by Daisuke to just about everywhere. He'd realised quickly that Daisuke was trying to cheer him up and..it was working. He'd been surprised about this but not really. He'd seen the slow but spectacular recovery Ken made after being the Digimon Kaiser and it had really been all because of Daisuke.

*He's certainly got a talent for bringing people's personality to the surface.*

There was one difference between his and Ken's recoveries. Ken's was complete. For all of Daisuke's trying his cheer only reached the surface. The hyper active teenager kept the isolation and cold away from Takeru's soul but he couldn't stop the grey formless thoughts that would drift comfortably back into place after Daisuke left.

He didn't think of much when he was alone. Yes alone, his Mother and Yamato had figured him well enough to be trusted alone for short periods of time. Today he would be alone two hours until Ken came over. Then after he left he'd be alone for another three hours or so until his Mom got back from work.

Takeru wandered into the kitchen getting himself something to drink. Following Daisuke....being dragged by Daisuke across half the city was thirsty work. He opened the fridge, grabbed the orange juice, poured himself a glass and sat down at the kitchen table. He sipped the drink while looking out the window at nothing at all.

It was still easy for his mind to drift off like this. Though it was more shutting down then drifting. Nothing really mattered and the world was dull. 

He stayed like this for a long time even after his drink was done. He just sat and started out the window at nothing at all.  
He was startled out of his blank state when a hand touched his shoulder. Takeru jumped and turned around quickly to see a concerned Ken standing behind him.

"Hey," he said softly.

"I let myself in. The door was open. I did call but no one answered so.."

Takeru nodded his understanding and slowly got to his feet taking the empty glass back to the kitchen. Ken followed him and leaned against the door frame the same worried expression in his violet eyes, though his face remained impassive.

Strangely enough Ken's quiet worrying didn't bug Takeru that much. It was as if he was just waiting on the side lines for when Takeru was ready to open up. Not forcing him to talk. If he had tried to force Takeru to open up he probably wouldn't.

Takeru blinked a bit as he realised that the last time he'd been alone with Ken had been after the snow storm. Ken had tried to get him to talk then and had been very unsuccessful. Then he hadn't wanted to talk for fear of bring back the despair he'd felt those few days before he'd....

Rubbing absent mindedly at his wrists Takeru turned back to the other boy and plastered a fake smile on his face. He didn't feel much like having Ken worry about him anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~Kenny-baby

Ken tried not to grind his teeth in frustration as Takeru pushed him away with one false smile. He didn't expect him to be happy and chipper. That wasn't the Takeru he knew very well anyways. Daisuke had always been closer to Takeru when it came to the happy for no reason department.

* I just want the Takeru who thinks about things back. The one you can always talk to about anything and he'll understand. I want my Takeru back.*

But he couldn't say anything because there was nothing to say. He'd tried twice now to have his friend open up to him and in both instances he'd failed.

*Time to make good on your promise Ken. Just be here and wait. He'll open up on his own time.*

It was hard to wait though seeing the pain Takeru was going through. Though Daisuke was keeping him from receding into himself Ken knew there was more to a emotional recovery then just being around someone who made you happy. It didn't hurt of course but there was more. You had to understand and except why things had gone the way they'd gone.

*And that's why your going to be here for him. Because he help you understand why.*

"So was there something you wanted to do specificly?" Takeru asked his voice cutting through Ken's thoughts.

"No, not really." Ken responded smiling slightly.

"Okay well do you mind waiting for a bit? I kinda forgot to have a shower when I got home. Basket ball practice can get smelly." he said heading out of the kitchen.

Ken noticed he didn't look At Ken during the conversation at all. He just focused on some point behind his shoulder. When he walked by Ken was given a nice view of the back of his head.

And he knew instantly that Takeru was afraid. Afraid of just what Ken wasn't sure but he would be there to help him through it. 

As the door to the bathroom shut behind his friend Ken whipped out his D-terminal and typed in another msg for Takeru to find later.

~~~~~~~~~~~Ken-chan!  
(A/N Enjoy this next scene while you can Daiken lovers cuz it's the last your going to see of these two!!! Why? Because! Because why? I'm not telling!!!)

Ken smiled as he felt two arms wrap themselves around his shoulders. It was later that night and Ken had left Takeru's to see Daisuke. It was their weekly study session and right on cue Daisuke was trying to change that 'study' to 'make-out'.

"Dai-koi what are you doing?" He asked turning his head slightly.

Daisuke was on the bed as usual while Ken sat on the floor books on his legs and using the bed as back support.

"History is boring. Let's do something else.." Daisuke winned.

"Math?" Ken asked innocently.

Daisuke merely grumbled and removed his arms from around Ken's neck. Of curse this was only so he could grab Ken from under the arms and pull him up on to the bed.

Ken squeaked in surprise then started laughing at the look on Daisuke's face as the shorter boy pushed him back onto the comforter.

"Are we gonna do something else or not?" Daisuke asked looking extremely pouty.

Ken just laughed and reached out an arm to grab Daisuke's shoulder and pulled him on top of him. His other hand guided Daisuke's mouth to his own and kissed him solidly.

Daisuke smiled against his lips and gladly kissed back one hand combing itself through Ken's hair, the other resting on Ken's hip as their tongues did battle.

After several minutes of this they broke apart gasping for air. Daisuke grinned down at Ken a goofy expression on his face.  
Ken titled his head to the side and frowned, absent mindedly running his hand from Daisuke's shoulder to the nape of his neck and burring his fingers in Daisuke's hair.

"What?" he asked.

"This is what I call a study session." Daisuke grinned.

Then his pillow firmly connected to his head and Ken pushed Daisuke off him to sit up.

"Itai! Why'd ya do that for?" Daisuke whined flashing his best set of puppy dog eyes at Ken.

Ken in turn just rolled his eyes and ignored him. There for he didn't see Daisuke move until it was too late. Suddenly Ken found himself on the floor with a grinning Daisuke sitting on him.

(A/N I know, I know this scene is pure fluff but I wanted to have a cute cuddle thing with these two in at least each chapter! So nwaw to anyone who's complaining! ^_^)

"Ah ha! Gotcha!" Daisuke crowed happily as Ken tried to dislodge his boyfriend.

"Hey le'me go Dai-chan." Ken complain as it was hard to breath with him being sat on.

Daisuke sighed but got off only to pull Ken onto his lap as he leaned against the bed. Ken smiled and allowed him to sneaking an arm around Daisuke's waist and resting his hand on Daisuke's chest. He tucked his head under Daisuke's chin and smiled when Daisuke sighed.

*He hates it when I turn his make-out sessions into cuddle sessions!*

Ken thought to himself. Of course Daisuke never seemed to mind all that much. As was demonstrated when Ken felt Daisuke's arms wrap around him. Daisuke rested his cheek against Ken's hair and hugged him close.

"Ashiteru Ken-chan." Daisuke said quietly.

Ken smiled and hugged back.

"I know." he replied.

They sat there for awhile and Ken's thoughts began to wander about thinking about what he'd seen that afternoon. Takeru had been quiet and withdrawn the entire time he'd been there. 

It was depressing to think about and sitting there with Daisuke almost made him feel worse. Takeru was still so very alone. He sighed and Daisuke picked up on his mood.

"Thinking about Takeru again aren't you?"He asked quietly.

"Sorry." Ken said.

He didn't like showing Daisuke how worried he was about Takeru. He didn't want Daisuke getting jealous or angry again though it was unlikely to happen. Ken couldn't help it. It was his nature to brood about things and worry.

"Don't be." Daisuke said sternly giving Ken's shoulders a squeeze.

"I know your worried and well I'm worried to. He might be better but he's stopped getting better." Daisuke said with unusual insight.

*He does that sometimes. See's things people don't expect him to see.*

Ken thought shifting uncomfortably. He knew Daisuke worried but he was worried for that other reason he didn't want to bring up again. But Daisuke seemed to know why too.

"And don't worry about that either." He said gently raising a hand to brush Ken's hair away from his face gently.

"You can't help feeling that way about him and I wont blame you for it. I still love you and you still love me so there's no problem." he said kissing the top of Ken's head.

Ken relaxed and let himself worry as Daisuke held him. He truly didn't deserve his koi but was happy he had him.

"Ashiteru Dai-chan."

"I know."

(A/N Did I just write something that sugar coated??O_o..yup! Oh well onward towards yet more angst! More waff soon to come....)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Take-chan!

He woke up slowly from the dream or maybe quickly it was hard to tell the difference between the cold and darkness of the dream to the same state of his room. He'd pulled the black out curtain down so he could take a nap while it was still light out. He must have slept through till night.

Takeru pulled the covers tighter around him as he shivered. The dream had started out normal. Everything grey, flat and dull. Nothing changing, nothing out of the norm. He'd stood there for who knows how long. Until something registered in his fog filled brain. The grey was growing darker.

  
It wasn't like before, when the painful darkness had tried to pull him down into it. This time it snuck up quietly and slowly announced it's presence. He'd stood there looking around franticly for a way out and saw none. He could erase the feeling he'd had a way out but had ignored it until too late. 

The grey slowly but surely darkened and the air had turned colder and colder. Takeru had given up on trying to escape and stood there lost, tears streaming down his face. Then the darkness had been total and he'd been alone, afraid and very cold. So cold it hurt to move, hurt to feel. 

He'd woken up but the tears wouldn't stop and neither would his shivering. He gave up trying to warm himself with the blanket and stood up waking around his room. He walked around in circles trying to get some warmth back into his limbs and stop crying.

He wasn't being very sucessesful in either when he saw his D-terminal on his desk. He hadn't touched it since Ken had msged him a week ago. The light was blinking and he wondered when he'd gotten a msg. He walked over and opened it up wiping away tears so he could read. He had two msg's one from the previous night.

/I'll be here Take-chan. I can wait./

The next was from the last time Ken had come over to visit.

/Don't be afraid because I'll make sure you come out all right./

Takeru stood there staring at the msg's for some time still crying and shivering with cold. Then he quickly got dressed and flew out the door not waiting to tell his Mom where he was going.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Ken-chan again..

Ken was studying when he heard the door bell ring. He glanced at the clock and saw it was eight O'clock.

*Who would be stopping by this late?*

He wondered as he stood up to answer the door. His parents where out for dinner and he'd stayed behind. He was more then mildly surprised when he opened the door to a shivering, crying mess named Takeru.

"T..Takeru? What are you...never mind. Get in here." He said pulling the blonde inside.

Takeru came in but seemed hesitant as if not quite sure why he was here. He just stood there looking past Ken down the hallway tears streaming down his face. He looked like a lost child.

That's what startled Ken the most about his appearance on his door step. There was more open emotion on Takeru's face then there had been in.....

(A/N....I need a time frame here....lets say it's been....oh I don't know.....a month????since Takeru slit his wrists and it was about six weeks before that when he started acting strange...yeah..that'll work.)

months. He was confused, scared and lonely. Ken could see these emotions plainly in Takeru's cloudy blue eyes. 

He wasn't quite sure what to do but he'd promised to help Takeru through this and he would. He gently placed a hand on one of Takeru's shoulders making the other boy jump in surprise and focus on Ken.

"Come on..lets go sit down." he said equally as gentle and led Takeru into the living room.

Takeru sat down still shaking like a leaf and Ken sat beside him. He took a good look at Takeru's face and reached over to the table beside the couch and grabbed a tissue.

"Here...."He said handing it to Takeru with a smile.

The blonde blinked and nodded a thanks taking the tissue and simply holding it. Ken sighed, frowning in concern. He still wasn't sure how to respond to Takeru showing up like this. He knew Takeru was scared, confused and lonely he just didn't know what to do about it.

*Maybe if you stopped thinking about it so much and felt for a second you'd know baka.*

Ken thought to himself. He thought back to the times when he hadn't been sure who he was and what he was supposed to be. Then he'd only wanted comfort and an end to the guilt he'd felt at the time. Well guilt didn't apply but loneliness did and comfort was something he could give that could help cure that loneliness.

So Ken moved closer to his friend and wrapped a comforting arm around his shaking shoulders. Takeru just leaned into his embrace and cried harder but Ken was certain the loneliness was less. There was nothing else he could do until Takeru stopped crying so Ken simply held him, trying not to worry too much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~Take-chan

He somehow had found his way to Ken's front door despite the distance between their houses and the late hour. He'd been slightly puzzled by the sudden urge to go to Ken. Sure his friend had offered to help but he'd done this before. He'd drifted into Ken's apartment still crying and shaking but not knowing how to stop. 

Then Ken had wrapped his arms around him and something broke. Takeru found himself sobbing into Ken's shoulder as the comfort of his arms peeled away the barrier that had positioned itself around Takeru blocking him from the world. For once his tears wern't because of the pain of cold or loneliness but more of relief. The grey surrounding his soul was finally melting away and the ice was completely thawed. He felt alive again, even if he was crying like a child in his best friends arms.

It took a while for the shaking and the tears to stop. They did, slowly until Takeru was lying limply in Ken's arms too tired to move. Not that Ken seemed to care, he just sat there holding him smoothing his hair back.

"Thank you Ken." Takeru whispered after what seemed like forever.

The break in silence being the signal to move Ken shifted around so he was leaning back more comfortably in the corner of the couch. Takeru moved with him so he was still in Ken's arms but more curled up against his side, his head resting in the hollow of Ken's shoulder.

"What's there to thank?" Ken asked sounding genualy confused.

"For not giving up on me. For helping through this..." he said smiling a little as he realised how many times Ken had tried to help him.

"Was just trying to be a good friend." Ken said quietly one hand gently stroking Takeru's hair.

Takeru sighed and closed his eyes not because he was tired but because he felt better then he had in years. He wanted to savoir the moment. He wasn't sure quite how long this feeling of being alive was going to last. He hoped for the rest of his life but he wasn't too sure.

"What's wrong?" Ken asked quietly picking up on his thoughts.

Takeru just shook his head not wanting to bug Ken with his silly thoughts. Apparently Ken was having none of this. He shifted enough that he could look at Takeru and freeing one arm lifted Takeru's face up. Takeru opened his eyes and looked back blankly.

"Don't you dare do that again. If somethings bothering you tell me. I wont have you locking yourself away again." He said quietly his violet eyes looking watery.

The blonde boy was surprised to see the tears in Ken's eyes. He hadn't seen the digidestined of kindness cry in years. Then a flash back of memories inserted itself into his memory. Over the past months Ken's eyes had always been on the edge of tears. Talking to him in the grove of trees at school, walking him to school trying to got him to talk. Crying right out during the storm making Daisuke mad enough to hit him. In fact Ken hadn't had a dry moment around him since he'd slit his wrists.

Guilt and concern drifted through Takeru as he looked in surprise at his friend. All through his depression he hadn't thought about how others were feeling and he'd completely missed the fact that they'd been hurting as well.

*I can't let them cry anymore. Even Daisuke cried for me...*

He thought then reached up to gently wipe away a tear that had escaped from Ken's eyes.

"Please..don't cry. Not for me. I'll be fine, I was just thinking that this...this is the first time I've felt normal in years. Not to mention the last few months. I just didn't want to feel that way ever again...." He said now trying to blink away his own set of tears.

It wouldn't do to start crying again. He smiled weakly as Ken wiped away his tears with gentle fingers, holding him closer for comfort. Then something happened that neither of them really expected. They were sitting close enough as it was before Ken had held him closer but when he did the hand brushing away the tears drifted gently across his cheek and down his neck. Then Ken leaned down just a bit and kissed Takeru lightly on the lips.

Needless to say this shocked Takeru but he found himself kissing back, slowly closing his eyes. He'd never felt attracted to Ken or boys at all before but somehow this seemed right. He leaned into the kiss raising one hand to rest against Ken's other shoulder. His other arm wrapping itself around Ken's waist automaticly. Ken's hand had placed itself on the back of Takeru's neck holding his head in place.

Takeru felt the tip of Ken's tongue slide against his lower lip and along the inside quickly. He opened his mouth allowing Ken to explore. He shivered as Ken's tongue hesitantly touched his. He stroked back enjoying the sensation. Ken moaned quietly into his mouth his hand gently stroking the back of his neck.

~~~~~~~~~~~Kenny baby guilt trip time!^_^

Ken didn't know why he'd kissed Takeru. Well it might have had something to do with how close the blonde had been or the vulnerable state of emotion he'd been in or it might have had something to do with Ken's feelings for his friend. That didn't matter as he suddenly found that Takeru was kissing him back. He wrapped his arms around Ken, pressing himself against the dark haired youth.

So now Ken was making out with his best friend on his couch. It couldn't last very long though. Not with some nagging little voice in the back of Ken's head struggling to take centre stage. Similar experiences surfaced quickly, arms around him as they kissed passionetly on the couch. Running his hands through dark auburn hair and along tanned skin.

*Daisuke.*

The one word was enough for Ken to jump back off the couch. Horror written over every feature. Takeru blinked in confusion and looked at Ken in a wordless question. Ken looked back at him and hated himself for what he'd done.

"Daisuke.." Was all he could choke out as an explanation.

It was enough. Takeru's eyes widened and looked about as horrified as Ken felt. He left quickly grabbing his jacket and barely pausing to put his shoes on properly. The door shut loudly behind him and Ken collapsed back onto the couch, his mind whirling with guilt.

*He knew, he trusted me. He completely trusted me..*

Ken buried his face in his hands, shaking uncontrollably. He wasn't sure if Daisuke found out if he'd ever trust him again. He wasn't sure if Daisuke would want to stay with him at all. He wasn't sure if he could live without him.

(A/N Arg that scene has been driving me nuts for a week!! I was trying to make it flow as easily as possible. Very hard to do. Very. At least in my own mind.)

~~~~~~~~~~~Takeru guilt trip!!!

He walked home quickly trying not to think to hard about what happened. He was thinking about it enough all ready. He should have thought about it more before. He didn't know what had come over him. Kissing Ken had seemed so right as had being in his arms.

Reaching home he managed to slip in without anyone noticing he'd ever been gone. He went to his room and laid down on the bed staring at the ceiling.

*I was making out with my best friend. My male best friend.*

But that wasn't what bothered him. It was the fact that his Other best friend was dating the one he'd kissed. He'd never had a problem with them both being males. In fact he'd always enjoyed being around them, even if they were in a mushy mood. It had always made him smile seeing two people he cared for so happy together. The two were absolutely head over heels for each other.

*Then I go and throw a rock into the pond.*

In the space of five minutes he'd betrayed them both. Sure Ken had kissed him first but he'd still kissed back. If he hadn't it might not have been so bad. He would never have told Daisuke if Ken hadn't wanted him to. No he went and kissed him back.

The worst was Daisuke who had no clue what had happened. He wouldn't know how to face his cheerful friend. The one who'd tried so hard to bring Takeru back to himself. One friend who was always there the minute you needed him.

Takeru moaned in frustration and flipped around burying his head in the pillow. He didn't want to think about this anymore. So squeezing his eyes shut he tried to sleep and escape his guilt.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~a very confused Daisuke

This had to be one of the weirdest weeks Daisuke had, had all year. First Takeru was basicly better. His eyes were once again the bright blue everyone was used to. Though he still seemed caught up on something. No it was good he was worried about something. Before his problem had been not worrying about Anything. 

So Daisuke thought that Ken would be ecstatic. Of course not. Ken was quiet, withdrawn and avoiding him! This was not making sense at all. So Daisuke decided after not getting anything out of his boyfriend, in fact he'd just made Ken close up even more, he go ask someone else if they knew what was wrong. Takeru.

Unfortunetly this plan didn't work as well as he thought it would. He found Takeru practicing is basket ball skills in the gym. Daisuke paused in the door way for a bit to watch before going in.   
Takeru was dressed in his gym stuff and one could clearly see the bandages still wrapped around his wrists. Apparently he wasn't allowed to take them off until the stitches came out and the skin was strong enough not to tear.

He had to admit he could see what it was about takeru that Ken liked. He was fairly cute, with his tousled blonde hair and bright blue eyes. When upset he gave just about everyone the urge to hug and reassure him. According to Yamato he used to abuse this ability horribly when small. Many a sappy lady had bought him candy or a treat cooing over how adorable he was.

Of course there was his optimism and kindness to anyone he just met. Hell he'd even been nice to Daisuke when he'd been acting like a complete jerk the first time they met.

*He was always nice to Ken too. He instantly excepted Ken into the group once he'd proved himself to us. Always the first to offer him something or except an invitation if I didn't beat him to it.*

Smiling at a few memories Daisuke walked into the gym giving a little hello shout to catch Takeru's attention. The blonde turned around grabbing the ball to see who it was. Some unidentifiable emotion flashed across his face at seeing Daisuke but then smiled wanly in greeting.

"Hey Take-chan. What's up?" he asked cheerfully.

Takeru blinked a bit then shrugged.

"Nothing much."

"Hey I wanted to ask you. Do you know what been up with Ken lately? He's completely avoiding talking to me. I figured he might have told you what's wrong considering your his best friend and all..." Daisuke drifted off as Takeru shook his head quickly.

"I have no idea Daisuke. Look I gotta go busy and all see ya later bye!" he said quickly moving towards the change room leaving behind a very bewildered Daisuke.

~~~~~~~~~~~~Ken-chan guilt tripping Again.

Ken sighed as he flipped through channel after channel trying to find something mind numbing. Unfortunetly numbing was something that he couldn't keep his mind on.

*Add another to the list of Times I wish I wasn't a genius*

With another sigh he flipped off the TV and laid back on the couch trying to sort through his emotions. Every time he was around Daisuke now he felt incredibly guilty. He couldn't even look him in the eye anymore.

"This is insane. I can't not tell him what happened. He deserves to know what happened. Even if he wont trust me anymore. Not that I deserve his trust." Ken thought aloud.  
  
He reached over and grabbed the phone and dailing Daisuke's number. Daisuke was home and seemed happy to hear from him. Ken wasn't surprised considering he hadn't said more then two words to him all week.

He put the phone down and waited. Daisuke had said he'd bee there as quickly as he could. Ken had said he had something to talk about and Daisuke'd haggled with his Mother to let him leave.

Soon Daisuke was letting himself in customary to his usual style. He walked over to the couch and plopped down at Ken's feet. He was gasping for breath which made Ken suspect he'd ran the entire way here. 

Ken sat up and crossed his legs trying to bring up the nerve to tell Daisuke what happened. Daisuke sat across from him silently. He had an uncostomarly serious look on his face. A completely trusting look to boot.

*I can't do this. I can't tell him.. He'll hate me or be disgusted. I can't do this. I can't sit here and tell him I betrayed him.*

He was looking down at his hands which were clenched into fists in his lap trying not to cry when one of daisuke's hands covered his.

"Look Ken. I think I can pretty much figure out what's wrong by now." Daisuke said softly.

Ken looked up at him unbelieving. Daisuke didn't look angry or hurt. He looked a little like he was soul searching. Trying to work something out for himself. 

"I believe, from the way you've been acting and a few things I've picked up from Takeru that something happened last weekend." he said gently taking Ken's hand and pulling him forward into his arms.

Ken obliged resting his head against Daisuke's chest. He was shaking not wanting to hear the truth from Daisuke's lips. He was sure Daisuke would become mad or something. Even if he was calm now.

"I think something happened to make Takeru better. Something that knocked him out of his depression but lead to something else?" He continued quietly holding Ken to him.

Ken clung to one of his arms not wanting to let go. He was afraid if he did Daisuke would leave. This feeling was horrible. He'd never felt so torn in his life. The worst part was he didn't want to give up his feelings for Takeru either. It had to be the worst thing in the world loving two people at once.

"Now before you completely go into a panic attack let me talk all right?" Daisuke said quietly brushing away the tears that had started to fall from Ken's eyes.

"Just listen and I'm sure you'll feel better about this. I don't care what you did with takeru. Though I hope it only went as far as a kiss." he whispered into Ken's ear.

This surprised Ken to no end and he leaned back a bit to look at his koi in surprise. 

*He doesn't care???*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Take-chan...one step forward....

Takeru sighed. He'd been feeling horrible all week. He hated the feeling of guilt he'd get when ever Daisuke or Ken was around. He hadn't been able to have a decent conversation with either of them all week. He was depressed too. Not like before or at first it didn't feel like before.

He'd just been feeling guilty at first. Then as he didn't talk to Ken at all and backed out of anything Daisuke sujested they do he felt lonely. He started to feel under the weather and the same thoughts drifted through his head.

*I screwed up again. Not only did I ruin my best friends relationship, I lost them as well. They'll probably never speak to me again. I don't want to know what Daisuke thinks of me.*

He was sitting in his room on the bed waiting until it was time to go to school. The weekend had been horrible. He would have talked to Yamato about the whole thing but..

*I don't know What is up with him and Sora but Taichi seems to be into it up to his neck.*

So he'd moped around all Saturday and Sunday in quiet. He'd phoned Hikari at one point but the phone had been busy at the Kamiya's. He'd tried a couple of more times then remembered the weird thing with Taichi, Sora and his brother. He gave up.

He glanced out side and noticed it was pouring rain.

*Figures. My jackets in the wash today.*

Sighing he got up and grabbing his bag walked out into the rain. He was of course soaked in seconds but he didn't bother to notice or care. His mind was caught up in turmoil once again.

The worst part about all of this, the absolute worst part was he wanted to be with Ken again. He'd felt so incredibly safe and wanted sitting in Ken's arms on the couch. When they kissed he'd never felt so completed before in his life. He'd found that thing everyone had assumed he'd had with Hikari.

*It's not yours to have or find dumbass. Ken is Daisuke's. Their happy together let them be.*

Of course this only made Takeru feel worse. He finally manages to feel alive for ten measly minutes then ruins it all and more. He lost his best friend, ruined said friends long time relationship with Takeru's other best friend there fore losing both friends. Then went and realised he was in love with his friend and couldn't have him anyways.

*Way to screw up your life completely.*

Takeru was even stating to wish his brother and Taichi had never found him in the first place. At least then he wouldn't have screwed up Ken's life and his own even worse then before.

He was walking along in the rain head down rubbing absent mindedly at his wrists when two feet stepped in front of him. He looked up into Daisuke's warm brown eyes and instantly tried to cover up how he was feeling. Daisuke caught on pretty quickly though.

"Now none of that. I get enough of it from Ken you are not allowed to start." Daisuke said sternly.

"Wha..?" Takeru stuttered just then realising he was cold.

"Now listen up cuz I'm only going to say this once." Daisuke continued.

"First of all never ever do this depression thing again because I really hate having to constantly reassure Ken that you'll be okay."

Takeru just blinked in confusion as Daisuke took his hands rubbing his thumb against his wrists.

"Second don't ever do that again either. No matter how depressed you get."

Takeru nodded numbly trying to figure out what Daisuke was getting at.

"And third...well this ones a little odd. Ken-chan why don't you explain this one?" he said turning his head to look over at Ken who Takeru hadn't noticed standing to the side.

Ken walked forward and wrapped one arm around Daisuke's waist but was looking straight at Takeru. He couldn't quite identify what was in Ken's eyes. It was a contradiction to his body language. His body was saying he belonged to Daisuke but his eyes were saying he loved him. Then Daisuke who was still holding one wrist of his wrists, his other arm now around Ken pulled Takeru forward. He blinked in shock as both boys wrapped their free arms around his waist holding him in close.

"Third is an invitation. If your willing to take us up on it." Ken said quietly leaning his head on Daisuke's shoulder still looking intently at Takeru.

He blinked away tears as he never expected this to happen. Once again he didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable. It just felt right. He nodded his head as Ken smiled closing his eyes as if he was tired. Daisuke grinned like an idiot and pulled Takeru forward for a welcoming kiss. As his lips met Daisuke's Takeru's mind shouted for joy. Not only had he not lost his friends, he'd gained them on a new level entirely.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TADA!!!!!!!!It's done! And that last scene was WAAAAY sappy. I can't believe I wrote that. But I liked it. Now I get to write a sappy little ending thingy because I want to. And please R&R and tell me whatcha think!!!!

And now for an announcement. I am having a writing contest because I want to! It's gotta be a threesome!!!!!! Or at least a love triangle. Anybody can be in there, yaoi, yuri or het I don't care....much. It can be PWP but I'd prefer something with plot. Any rating except for G! Because this story has to have angst!!!! There the only rules as follows

Threesome/love triangle  
Angst

That's all people! All I want! There will be three winners. Third gets a picture of their fave couple as hentai or as innocent as they wish. (I am a good artist so don't worry), Second gets a short story written by me of whoever they want. And first Gets a story as long as they want and three pictures of their faves!!!!!

That's an okay contest right? If your entering please send me a copy of your story at 

Ashna_Wiccan@hotmail.com  
  
Now I go write sappy ending!!!!!!Yeah! 


	5. The sickingly sweet end, I personally lo...

Just a little sap to end the fic with.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Takeru sighed happily as he pulled Ken's arm over his shoulder and held it there. Ken glanced at him in amusement but went back to reading his book. Some college thing. Takeru didn't mind being ignored though. It was fun just sitting or well Ken was sitting by the lamp while Takeru was half laying on the couch using Ken as a back rest.

What Daisuke was doing couldn't be call laying. He was sprawled across the rest of the couch using Takeru's stomach as a pillow. He'd even wrapped his arms around one of the blondes legs like a teddy bear. Takeru couldn't move even if he wanted to.

Ken's attention wandered back to the other two as a small snore sounded from Daisuke. Ken rolled his amethyst eyes.

"How am I supposed to study with him making so much noise?" he complained but his arm draped over Takeru's shoulder drifted gentle fingers across Daisuke's sleeping face.

He went back to his book and Takeru bit back a yawn. He was kinda tired too. It was all ready past midnight but Ken didn't show any signs of letting up on his studying. He let his head rest in the hollow of Ken's shoulder, closing his eyes. He placed one hand on Daisuke's back the other twined it's fingers with Ken's. The absolutely content Takeru drifted off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yup just a little bit oh sap. I had no reason for doing that scene sept for the fact that the idea stuck in my head somewhere around mid second chapter and wouldn't go away till I typed it!

Hey here's my contest again!!!!!

And now for an announcement. I am having a writing contest because I want to! It's gotta be a threesome!!!!!! Or at least a love triangle. Anybody can be in there, yaoi, yuri or het I don't care....much. It can be PWP but I'd prefer something with plot. Any rating except for G! Because this story has to have angst!!!! There the only rules as follows

Threesome/love triangle  
Angst

That's all people! All I want! There will be three winners. Third gets a picture of their fave couple as hentai or as innocent as they wish. (I am a good artist so don't worry), Second gets a short story written by me of whoever they want. And first Gets a story as long as they want and three pictures of their faves!!!!!

That's an okay contest right? If your entering please send me a copy of your story at 

Ashna_Wiccan@hotmail.com 


End file.
